Animal jokes

There are 145 funny Animal jokes in this category.

Prev 5 | Next 5

Bear on a Rampage (Added On: 2011-11-08 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

Two campers were hiking in the forest when all of a sudden a bear jumps out of a bush and starts chasing them. Both campers start running for their lives, when one of them stops and starts to put on his running shoes.
His partner says, "What are you doing? You can't outrun a bear!"

His friend replies, "I don't have to outrun the bear, I only have to outrun you!"

---

Teddy bear (Added On: 2011-11-01 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

Q: Why wasn't the teddy bear hungry?

A: Because he was already stuffed.

---

Bovine Hijinx (Added On: 2011-10-28 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

What do cows do for fun?
They go to MOO-vies!

---

Q: Why did the elephant cross the road? (Added On: 2011-10-26 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

A: Chicken's day off.

---

An Amazing Connection With God (Added On: 2011-10-23 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

A 70-year-old man goes to the doctor's for a physical.
The doctor runs some tests and says to the man, ''Well, everything seems to be in top condition physically, but what about mentally? How is your connection with God?''

And the man says, ''Oh me and God? We're tight. We have a real bond, he's good to me. Every night when I have to get up to go to the bathroom, he turns on the light for me, and then, when I leave, he turns it back off.''

Well, upon hearing this the doctor was astonished.

He called the man's wife and said, ''I'd like to speak to you about your husband's connection with God. He claims that every night when he needs to use the restroom, God turns on the light for him and turns it off for him again when he leaves. Is this true?''

And she says, ''That idiot, he's been peeing in the refrigerator!''

---

There are 145 funny Animal jokes in this category.

Prev 5 | Next 5