Bar jokes

There are 85 funny Bar jokes in this category.

Prev 5 | Next 5

Drinking for His Brothers (Added On: 2010-05-30 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

There were these three brothers that were very close to each other. The brothers always went to a local bar on every Friday at 5:30 on the dot.
When the brothers got married they all got married to their wifes to be on the same day and at the same place.

When the brothers moved away from each other to go on with their lives with their new wife, they all promised each other that they would still go to the bar every friday at 5:30 and drink for each other.

On the first Friday that the brothers were separated, the first brother went to a local bar and ordered three drinks. He took one sip from the first glass the took one sip from the second glass then from the third. He did this until all the beer was gone, then he paid the bartender and went home.

This kept up for about three week before the bartender finally asked why he did that. The guy explained about the promise that he had with his brothers. The bartender said that he thought that was a very good promise to keep with each other.

One day the same guy came in and asked for only two glasses of beer. The bartender thinking something awful has happened, said "I am awfully sorry about your brother."

The guy not knowing anything about what the bartender was talking about said "What happened to him?" The bartender said that when he only ordered two drinks instead of three he thought that something awful had happened.

The brother then said "No, nothing happened to my brother, I just decided to give up alcohol."

---

Guiness a real drink (Added On: 2010-05-06 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

At a World Brewing Convention in the United States, the CEOs of various brewing organizations retired to the bar at the end of each day's conferencing.Bruce, the boss of Fosters, shouted to the barman, 'in 'Strailya, we make the best bloody beer in the world, so pour me a Fosters, cobber.'Rob, chief of Budweiser, calls out, 'In the States, we brew the finest beers of the world, and I make the king of them all. Give me a pint of Bud.'Hans steps up next, 'In Germany we invented beer. Give me a Weisen, the real king of beers.'Up steps Dutchman Jan, chief executive of Grolsch, who states that Grolsch is the ultimate beer and asks for one with two fingers of head on top.Patrick, the CEO of Guinness, steps forward. 'Barman, give me a coke with ice please.'The other four stare at him in stunned silence with amazement written all over their faces. Eventually Bruce asks, 'Are you not going to have a Guinness, Pat?'Patrick replies, 'Well, if you bastards aren't drinking, then neither am I'

---

Libraries Are Sexy (Added On: 2010-05-04 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

You got any overdue library books? 'Cause you got fine written all over you!

---

A pig walks into a bar (Added On: 2010-05-03 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

A pig walks into a bar and says to the bartender ''Can I have a pint of beer please''

The bartender says ''Certainly sir, that's £1.80 please''

And the pig goes ''Well, the thing is before I cam here I'd just been to the fair and I went on all the rides, I went on the roundabout and I went round and round and round and then I went on the waltzes and I just went round and round and round and then I went on the helter skelter and I just kept going round and round and round and I think all my money must have fallen out of my pockets.''

And the bartender goes ''Well that's all very well but why the round tale/tail?''

---

Men are like... (Added On: 2010-04-28 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

Men are like coolers......load them with beer and you can take them anywhere... Men are like chocolate bars..... sweet, smooth, and they usually head right for your hips.... Men are like horoscopes..... they always tell you what to do and are usually wrong....

---

There are 85 funny Bar jokes in this category.

Prev 5 | Next 5