Bar jokes

There are 152 funny Bar jokes in this category.

Prev 5 | Next 5

Does your dog bite? (Added On: 2011-11-28 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

A man walks into a pub and sits down next to a man with a dog at his feet. "Does your dog bite?""No."A few minutes later the dog takes a huge chunk out of his leg."I thought you said your dog didn't bite!" the man says indignantly."That's not my dog."

---

Empire State Building Fall (Added On: 2011-11-21 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

Two men are sitting drinking at a bar at the top of the Empire State Building when the first man turns to the other and says, "You know, last week I discovered that if you jump from the top of this building, by the time you fall to the 10th floor, the winds around the building are so
intense that they carry you around the building and back into the window."

The bartender just shakes his head in disapproval while wiping the bar.

The second guy says, "What are you a nut? There is no way in hell that could happen."

"No, it's true," said the first man, let me prove it to you." He gets up from the bar, jumps over the balcony, and plummets to the street below. When he passes the 10th floor, the high wind whips him around the building and back into the 10th floor window and he takes the elevator back up to the bar.

He met the second man, who looked quite astonished. "You know, I saw that with my own eyes, but that must have been a one time fluke."

"No, I'll prove it again," says the first man as he jumps. Again just as he is hurling toward the street, the 10th floor wind gently carries him around the building and into the window.

Once upstairs he urges his fellow drinker to try it. "Well, what the hell," the second guy says, "it works, I'll try it!" He jumps over the balcony plunges downward, passes the 11th, 10th, 9th, 8th floors ...and hits the sidewalk with a 'splat.'

Back upstairs the Bartender turns to the other drinker, saying "You know, Superman, you're a real asshole when you're drunk."

---

Country Boy in a Gay (Added On: 2011-11-08 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

A country boy ends up in the big city. He is walking around in awe of everything. He decides to quench his thirst and enters a bar. After a couple of beer, his beer rental is up and off he goes to the can. He walks into the can and is shocked at what he sees. And leaves quickly!The barkeep lisps, "What's wrong?"The country boy replies," You wouldn't believe what is going on in there.""What?"The country boy is shaking his head, "Well there is a guy standing at the urinal being corn-holed by a guy behind him. And that guy is getting his fudge packed by a guy behind HIM."The bartender leans in closer, gets all serious and lisps out his next question."The guy in the middle wouldn't have been wearing a yellow T-shirt would he?""I think he was. Why?""He's lucky at cards too!"

---

Goin Nuts (Added On: 2011-10-23 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

Guy walks into a bar, sits down and has a beer. At this point the bartender leaves to take care of some business in the back. As he is about to take his first sip someone says,

"Hey thats a great coat!"

He turns around and to his surprise no one is there. He shrugs it off as nothing and goes back to his beer.

"You look great did you get a haircut?!" Again someone exclaims.

He turns around, and again; No one.

He goes back to his beer when someone again shouts.

"Those shoes go great with that great coat!"

At this point the man is just about at his wits end, when the bartender comes out.

"Excuse me barkeep" the man replies "Someone keeps speaking to me, but everytime I turn around no one is there."

The bartender replies back at the bewildered man. "Oh thats just the peanuts... They're complimentry"

---

On top of Empire State Building (Added On: 2011-10-23 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

Two blokes are in a bar on top of the Empire State Building. One says to the other "You know, if you jump off of this building you get sucked in at the 10th floor". The other one laughs and says "No way, man. Prove it"

The first guy agrees and they both go to the edge. He jumps off and whoof! He gets sucked in at the 10th floor. When he gets back to the top the second guy, standing in shock, says "I don't believe it! Let me try".

So the second guy jumps off and splat! He falls to his death. The first guy goes back into the bar. When he gets back there, the bartender tuts and says "You know Superman, you can be a real bastard when your drunk!

---

There are 152 funny Bar jokes in this category.

Prev 5 | Next 5