Bar jokes

There are 152 funny Bar jokes in this category.

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A man walks into a bar (Added On: 2011-12-30 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

A man walks into a bar with an alligator. ''Do you serve lawyers in here?'', the man inquires.

''Sure do!'', replied the bartender.

''Great!'', the man said. ''I'll have a Coors Light, and how 'bout a lawyer for my 'gator.''

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Hanks Beard (Added On: 2011-12-18 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

Best friends, Vinnie and Hank, are in their local bar, having a few drinks. Vinnie leans over and starts stroking Hank's beard. Vinnie says, "Your face feels just like my wife's pussy."Hank strokes it himself and says, "Ya, you're right!"

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3 inch man (Added On: 2011-12-18 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

A man walks into a bar and says, "Bartender, give me two shots." Bartender says, "You want them both now or one at a time?" The guy says," Oh, I want them both now. One's for me and one's for this little guy here," and he pulls a 3 inch man out of his pocket. The bartender asks "He can drink?" "Oh, sure. He can drink." So the bartender pours the shots and sure enough, the little guy drinks it all up. "That's amazing" says the bartender. "What else can he do, can he walk?" The man flicks a quarter down to the end of the bar and says, "Hey, Jake. Go get that." The little guy runs down to the end of the bar and picks up the quarter. Then he runs back down and gives it to the man. The bartender is in total shock. "That's amazing" he says, "what else can he do? Does he talk?" The man says "Sure he talks, hey, Jake, tell him about that time we were in Africa hunting and you called that witch doctor a Nigger!"

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popo (Added On: 2011-12-12 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

A MAN WAS ON A DAET HE PILAN EVERY THING HE WAS GOING TO GIVE A CHOCOLATE TO HER HE WAS SITING ON THE HOT HETER HIS BUT WAS HOT SO HE WENT TO THE BATHROOM HE TOKE THE CHOCLATE HE THOGHT IT WAS POPO

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No beer for a bear in Big Bill Burger Bar (Added On: 2011-11-29 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

I came across this joke whilst listing to our local radio station!

There was a bear that had been walking for a very long time and decided to call in to the local bar, Well he goes into the bar, sits himself down and says to the bar tender "I would like a beer thanks"

The bartender replies "Sorry mate we do not sell beer to bears in Big Bill Burger Bar"

Now at this point the bear is getting angery so he thumps the bar and repeats "I would like a beer"

Once again the Barman replies " Sorry mate we do not sell beer to bears that bang on the bar at Big Bills Burger Bar!"

Now by this time the bear is getting pretty angery and starts to bash to costomers that was sitting next to him!

And the bear says again "I would like a beer please"

And once again the barman replies "sorry we do not sell beer to bears that bash the bar and bistanders!"

Now by this time the bear was anger than hell so the bear picks up some empty bottles and starts to throw them at the barman.

The bear repeats "I would like a beer please"

The barman replies "sorry we do not sell beer to bears that bash the bar and the bistanders and also thow bottles around the bar at Big Bills Burger Bar"

Well that did it for the Bear, so the bear gets up off of the seat opens his mouth and takes a chunk out of the bar!

"Now give me my blasted beer!"

The Barman replies with "Sorry we do not give beer to bears that bash the bar and bistanders and also throw bottles around the bar and that are also on drugs!"

The bear replies with "what do you mean DRUGS??? I admit to Bashing the bar and the bistanders and throwing the bottles, but what is this about me being on drugs!"

And the barman replies with "Well what about the Bar-Bit-You-ate!!

If you are not sure if you get that joke read it again and say Bar-Bit-You-Ate fast and then see if you get it or not!

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There are 152 funny Bar jokes in this category.

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