Blonde jokes

There are 434 funny Blonde jokes in this category.

Prev 5 | Next 5

A Blonde Question. (Added On: 2011-12-23 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

Passing an office building late one night, a blonde saw a sign that said, "Press bell for night watchman."

She did so, and after several minutes she heard the watchman clomping down the stairs.

The uniformed man proceeded to unlock first one gate, then another, shut down the alarm system, and finally made his way through the revolving door.

"Well," he snarled at the blonde, "what do you want?"

"I just want to know why you can't ring the bell for yourself?"

---

What did the blonde’s left leg say to her right leg? (Added On: 2011-12-16 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

What did the blonde’s left leg say to her right leg? Between the two of us, we can make a lot of money.

---

Blonde Joke Jackpot! (Added On: 2011-12-15 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

Q: Why did the blonde have tire tread marks on her back?
A: From crawling across the street when the sign said "DON'T WALK".

Q: Why did the blonde keep a coat hanger in her back seat?
A: In case she locks the keys in her car.

Q: Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?
A: So she wouldn't wake up the sleeping pills.

Q: Why did God create blondes?
A: Because sheep can't bring beer from the fridge.
Q: Why did God create brunettes?
A: Neither could the blondes.

Q: Why did the blonde wear condoms on her ears?
A: So she wouldn't get Hearing Aides.

Q: Why did the blonde drive into the ditch?
A: To turn the blinker off.

Q: Why did the blonde try and steal a police car?
A: She saw "911" on the back and thought it was a Porsche.

Q: Why did the blonde scale the glass wall?
A: To see what was on the other side.

Q: Why did the blonde want to become a veterinarian?
A: Because she loved children.

Q: Why did the blonde take her typewriter to the doctor ??
A: She thought it was pregnant because missed a period.

---

Blonde on Horseback (Added On: 2011-12-13 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

A blonde from California decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience.  She mounts the horse unassisted and the horse immediately springs into motion.  It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle.

In terror, she grabs for the horse's mane, but cannot seem to get a firm grip.  She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but
she slides down the side of the horse anyway.  The horse gallops along, seemingly oblivious to its slipping rider.  Finally, giving up her frail grip, she leaps away from the horse to try and throw herself to safety.

Unfortunately, her foot has become entangled in the stirrup, she is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground over and over.  As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments away from unconsciousness when to her great fortune . . . the Supermarket manager sees her and shuts the horse off.

---

complainig (Added On: 2011-11-30 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

One day there was a blonde complaining to her best friend.

Blonde: I'm sick and tired of bieng called a dumb blonde!!

Friend: Well you should prove them wrong somehow. Try learning the state capitals!

Blonde: Great idea!

A few days later,thier was a party and the blonde's friend invited her.

Jock: Hey look! Its a dumb blonde!

Blonde: I'm not dumb!I know the state capitals!

Jock: Oh yeah? Prove it! Whats the capital of Montana?

Blonde: Thats easy! It's "M".

---

There are 434 funny Blonde jokes in this category.

Prev 5 | Next 5