Car Bumpers jokes

There are 8 funny Car Bumpers jokes in this category.

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A cubicle (Added On: 2010-03-23 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door. A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory. If at first you do succeed, try not to look astonished. Help wanted telepath: you know where to apply I'm just driving this way to get you mad.Keep honking, I'm reloading. Hang up and drive. Guns don't kill people, postal workers do. Ask me about microwaving cats for fun and profit. I said "no" to drugs, but they just wouldn't listen.

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If we (Added On: 2010-02-17 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat? Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math. A closed mouth gathers no feet. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance. A penny saved is ridiculous. All that glitters has a high refractive index. Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy. Anarchy is better than no government at all. Any small object when dropped will hide under a larger object. Death is life's way of telling you you've been fired.

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I wouldnt (Added On: 2010-01-12 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

I wouldn't be caught dead with a necrophiliac. Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now. I won't rise to the occasion, but I'll slide over to it. Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy. Consciousness: that annoying time between naps. I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it. Where there's a will, I want to be in it. Okay, who put a "stop payment" on my reality check? Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs. We have enough youth, how about a fountain of SMART?

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"Time is (Added On: 2009-12-10 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

"Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all it's students!""According to my calculations the problem doesn't exist.""Pride is what we have. Vanity is what others have.""How Can I Miss You if You Won't Go Away?"Seen on a woman's car: "Men call us birds, we pick up worms""Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear.""Give me ambiguity or give me something else.""Why is 'abbreviation' such a long word?""I like you, but I wouldn't want to see you working with sub-atomic particles."

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If you (Added On: 2009-08-20 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

If you are psychic - think "HONK" If you can read this, I can slam on my brakes and sue you! You're just jealous because the voices are talking to me and not you! Don't get me mad! I'm running out of places to hide the bodies!You are depriving some poor village of its idiot!Forget world peace. Visualize using your turn signal. My Hockey Mom Can Beat Up Your Soccer Mom Grow your own dope, plant a man.All Men Are Animals, Some Just Make Better Pets Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.

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There are 8 funny Car Bumpers jokes in this category.

Prev 5 | Next 3