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Car Bumpers jokes
Stay in this circle (Added On: 2011-02-24 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke) A woman driver bumped into a guy's car and did a fair amount of damage. The male driver asked why she did it, and she replied, "Because I wanted to. That's all the reason I need." Then the driver said, "You ignorant bitch! Stand in this circle and don't move, then I will mess up your car to teach you a lesson!" He started by hitting it with a bat, but the blonde started laughing, so the driver turned around, and she stopped laughing. Then he started ripping up the seat, and again she started laughing, so he turned around, at which point the blonde stopped laughing again. Then he started messing up the whole car then she started laughing again, so the driver finally asked her why she was laughing and she said, "Well every time you had your back turned I stepped ouy of the circle, so there!" A cubicle (Added On: 2010-03-23 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke) A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door. A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory. If at first you do succeed, try not to look astonished. Help wanted telepath: you know where to apply I'm just driving this way to get you mad.Keep honking, I'm reloading. Hang up and drive. Guns don't kill people, postal workers do. Ask me about microwaving cats for fun and profit. I said "no" to drugs, but they just wouldn't listen. If we (Added On: 2010-02-17 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke) If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat? Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math. A closed mouth gathers no feet. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance. A penny saved is ridiculous. All that glitters has a high refractive index. Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy. Anarchy is better than no government at all. Any small object when dropped will hide under a larger object. Death is life's way of telling you you've been fired. I wouldnt (Added On: 2010-01-12 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke) I wouldn't be caught dead with a necrophiliac. Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now. I won't rise to the occasion, but I'll slide over to it. Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy. Consciousness: that annoying time between naps. I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it. Where there's a will, I want to be in it. Okay, who put a "stop payment" on my reality check? Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs. We have enough youth, how about a fountain of SMART? "Time is (Added On: 2009-12-10 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke) "Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all it's students!""According to my calculations the problem doesn't exist.""Pride is what we have. Vanity is what others have.""How Can I Miss You if You Won't Go Away?"Seen on a woman's car: "Men call us birds, we pick up worms""Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear.""Give me ambiguity or give me something else.""Why is 'abbreviation' such a long word?""I like you, but I wouldn't want to see you working with sub-atomic particles."
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