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There are 68 funny Computer jokes in this category. Prev 5 | Next 5

An IBM acronym (Added On: 2010-03-19 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

IBM: Intolerant of Beards and Mustaches


Windows TP - the telepathic operating system (part 2) (Added On: 2010-03-16 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

Testers report problems with Windows TP beta

NEW YORK, Apr 1, Reuter - Microsoft's new Windows TP has a long way to go before final release, say beta testers of the product. Testers report numerous problems with the thought icons included with the product.

"I can see a fish tail representing some useful things, but the Program Manager? It's just not intuitive," says Clyde Revlon, an MIS specialist with McBalmy, Crain, and Larch. "Whoever came up with these thought icons needs therapy. I'm sure the guy's Yorkshire terrier is wonderful, but as the File Manager? A golden retriever I could understand. And that sweater the terrier is wearing, it's just too loud. Let me control the sweater."

Testers also report dangerous corruption problems with the Direct Neuron Access technology. "Colors, I smell colors. Dog, good dog, go to the light mom," said Maggie Ferreaux, a consultant with Sharp, Trenchant, and Blunt Computer Services.

Other testers were less understanding. "I'm working on a presentation, and suddenly all I can think about is pages A through C of the Miami telephone directory. It took me three hours to get it out of my mind. That blows my productivity right out of the water," says Max Pirenich, a salesman for Carp Technology. "Just thinking about Excel scares the Carp out of me."

Microsoft officials acknowledged the issues, citing that no beta release of a product is perfect, and vowed to provide testers with the services of the same Neurologist that helped Microsoft Quality Assurance recover from testing the product in its early stages. Many Microsoft QA engineers are expected to lead long, productive lives.

Originally from Dave Coble
Read also:Part 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5


If Microsoft was jewish (Added On: 2010-03-13 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

If Microsoft was jewish ...

Instead of getting a "General Protection Fault" error, your PC would get "Ferklempt".
"Year 2000" issues are replaced by "Year 5760-5761" issues.
Hanukkah screen savers will have "Flying Dreidels".
Your PC shuts down automatically at sundown on Friday evenings.
After your computer dies, you would dispose of it within 24 hours.
Your "Start" button would be replaced with a "Let's go! I'm not getting any younger!" button.
"Abort, Retry, Ignore" would be replaced with "Stop it already - You're killing me!, You vant I should try it again?, I didn't hear that!".
When disconnecting external devices from the back of your PC, you would be instructed to "Remove the cable from your PC's tuchis".
Your multimedia player would be renamed to "Nu, so play my music already!".
Internet Explorer would now have a spinning "Star of David" in the upper right corner.
You would hear the tune "Hava Nagila" during startup.
Microsoft Office would include "A little byte of this, and a little byte of that".
When running "scandisk", you will be prompted with a "You vant I should fix this?" message.
When your PC is working too hard, you would occasionally hear a loud "Oy!!!".
A "monitor cleaning solution" from Manischewitz would advertise that it gets rid of the "schmutz" on your monitor.
After 20 minutes of no activity, your PC would go "Schloffen."
Computer viruses would now be cured with chicken soup.


Programmer And An Engineer (Added On: 2010-03-08 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

A Programmer and an Engineer were sitting next to each other...

A Programmer and an Engineer were sitting next to each other on an airplane. The Programmer leans over to the Engineer and asks if he wants to play a fun game. The Engineer just wants to sleep so he politely declines, turns away and tries to sleep.

The Programmer persists and explains that it's a real easy game. He explains,"I ask a question and if you don't know the answer you pay me $5. Then you ask a question and if I don't know the answer I'll pay you $5." Again the Engineer politely declines and tries to sleep.

The Programmer, now somewhat agitated, says, "O.K., if you don't know the answer you pay me $5 and if I don't know the answer I pay you $50! " Now, that got the Engineer's attention, so he agrees to the game. The Programmer asks the first question, "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?" Then Engineer doesn't say a word and just hands the Programmer $5.

Now, its the Engineer's turn. He asks the Programmer, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down on four?" The Programmer looks at him with a puzzled look, takes out his laptop computer, looks through all his references and after about an hour wakes the Engineer and hands the Engineer $50. The Engineer politely takes the $50 turns away and tries to return to sleep.

The Programmer, a little miffed, asks, "Well what's the answer to the question?" Without a word, the Engineer reaches into his wallet, hands $5 to the Programmer, turns away and returns to sleep.


Computer Acronyms (Added On: 2010-02-27 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

PCMCIA People Can't Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms


ISDN It Still Does Nothing


APPLE Arrogance Produces Profit-Losing Entity


SCSI System Can't See It


DOS Defective Operating System


BASIC Bill's Attempt to Seize Industry Control


IBM I Blame Microsoft


DEC Do Expect Cuts


CD-ROM Consumer Device, Rendered Obsolete in Months


OS/2 Obsolete Soon, Too.


WWW World Wide Wait


MACINTOSH Most Applications Crash; If Not, The Operating System Hangs


PENTIUM Produces Erroneous Numbers Through Incorrect Understanding of

Mathematics


COBOL Completely Obsolete Business Oriented Language


AMIGA A Merely Insignificant Game Addiction


LISP Lots of Infuriating & Silly Parenthesis


MIPS Meaningless Indication of Processor Speed


WINDOWS Will Install Needless Data On Whole System


GIRO Garbage In Rubbish Out


MICROSOFT Most Intelligent Customers Realize Our Software Only (for)

Fools (&) Teenagers.


There are 68 funny Computer jokes in this category. Prev 5 | Next 5
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