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Computer jokes
Operating systems as beers (Added On: 2011-12-17 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke) Mac Beer -- At first, came only a 16-oz. can, but now comes in a 32-oz. can. Considered by many to be a "light" beer. All the cans look identical. When you take one from the fridge, it opens itself. The ingredients list is not on the can. If you call to ask about the ingredients, you are told that "you don't need to know." A notice on the side reminds you to drag your empties to the trashcan. True Microsoft story (Added On: 2011-12-12 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke) I once got an especially helpful reply to a question I asked on The next day I had a response: "We are looking into the problem and will contact you with a solution What will Really Happen in 2000 (Added On: 2011-12-09 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke) What's Really Going To Happen At The Year 2000: "99 Bottles of Beer" song gets stuck in an infinite loop At the stroke of midnight on 12/31/1999, Windows 99* turns back into DOS 1.0; the Pentium* V turns back into an 8088, and the Handsome User is left holding a beautiful glass mouse. Internet Movie Database now lists "1901: A Space Odyssey". Bob Dole's age erroneously listed with only two digits. Sales of Coca-Cola jump drastically after original cocaine-laden formula becomes legal again. Software engineers point out that since computers think it's almost 1900, we technically have to "party like it's 1899" (which, frankly, doesn't seem like that much fun). Microsoft declares the year 1900 to be the new standard of the "Gatesian" Calendar. Jesus shows up late for His Second Coming; blames it on COBOL programmers. Using a computerized adoption service, Michael Jackson mistakenly takes home some octogenarians. Unexpected demand for COBOL programmers results in severe personnel shortage at McDonald's restaurants. Computer lingo guide (Added On: 2011-11-16 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke) Monitor - Keep an eye on the wood stove A husband with a computer addiction (Added On: 2011-11-14 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke) My Dear Husband,I am sending you this letter via this BBS communications thing, so that you will be sure to read it. Please forgive the deception, but I thought you should know what has been going on at home since your computer entered our lives TWO YEARS AGO. The children are doing well. Tommy is seven now and is a bright, handsome boy. He has developed quite an interest in the arts. He drew a family portrait for a school project, all the figures were good, and the back of your head is very realistic. You should be very proud of him. Little Jennifer turned three in September. She looks a lot like you did at that age. She is an attractive child and quite smart. She still remembers that you spent the whole afternoon with us on her birthday. What a grand day for Jenny, despite the fact that it was stormy and the electricity was out. I am doing well. I went blonde about a year ago, and discovered that it really is more fun! George, I mean, Mr. Wilson, the department head, has taken an interest in my career and has become a good friend to us all. I discovered that the household chores are much easier since I realized that you didn't mind being vacuumed but that feather dusting made you sneeze. The house is in good shape. I had the living room painted last spring; I'm sure you noticed it. I made sure that the painters cut holes in the drop sheet so you wouldn't be disturbed.Well, my dear, I must be going. Uncle George--err--Mr. Wilson, I mean, is taking us all on a ski trip and there is packing to do. I have hired a housekeeper to take care of things while we are away, she'll keep things in order, fill your coffee cup and bring your meals to your desk, just the way you like it. I hope you and the computer will have a lovely time while we are gone. Tommy, Jenny and I will think of you often. Try to remember us while your disks are booting.Love,Your Wife
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