Doctor jokes

There are 64 funny Doctor jokes in this category.

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Good.. Bad.. Worse (Added On: 2011-05-05 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

Good: You're having sex. Bad: The dog came in during and licked your butt. Worse: You liked it.Good: Your teenage son is spending a lot of time in his room "studying" Bad: You find a bunch of gay porno tapes hidden in his room. Worse: He's in them.Good: Your wife gives your daughter the birds and the bees speech. Bad: Your daughter keeps interrupting..... Worse: ......with corrections.

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Unhappily Married (Added On: 2011-04-20 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

A man is walking down a beach during sunset when he stumbles across a lamp. Picking it up he says to himself, "I wonder if it's magic. I think I'll rub it and find out."Well sure enough this man rubs the lamp and a genie pops out. The genie says to the man, "I'm your genie and I am at your command. I shall grant you three wishes on one condition. Everything you wish for, your wife gets double."Well the man thought about it and finally blurted out, "Give me a million dollars." So the genie gave him a million dollars and his wife two million while reminding him of the "one condition".Next the man said, " I'd like a house on the east coast and a house on the west coast." So the genie gave him his two houses and his wife four houses.Finally the genie said, "You have one wish remaining but remember, your wife gets double."So the man thought for nearly an hour about his final wish. Looking up at the genie hovering over the sand he said with a sly grin on his face, "Ok Genie, I want you to beat me half to death."

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Doing Pushups (Added On: 2011-03-29 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

One cucumber was telling another "my life is miserable, as soon as I get firm and hard, someone slices me up and puts me in a salad."The other cucumber said "yeah well, my life is worse, as soon as I get firm and hard, someone puts me in a jar with vinegar and garlic and pickles me."A penis was listening to this conversation and chimes in, "my life is worse than both of yours, as soon as I get firm and hard, someone puts a bag over my head and makes me do pushups 'til I puke."

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Gas Problems (Added On: 2011-03-17 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

A little old lady goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, I have this
problem with gas, but it really doesn't bother me too much because
they never smell and are always silent. As a matter of fact, I've
farted at least 20 times since I've been here in your office."

The doctor says, "I see, take these pills and come back to see me next
week."

The next week the lady goes back to his office. "Doctor," she says, "I
don't know what you gave me, but now my farts, although still silent,
stink terribly!"

The doctor says, "Good, Now that we've cleared up your sinuses, let's
work on your hearing."

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Everywhere I look I see talking animals (Added On: 2011-02-09 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

A man staggers into the Doctor's surgery and gasps: "Doctor, help me! Everywhere I look I see talking mice, talking dogs, and even a talking duck! What's wrong with me?"

Doctor says reassuringly: "Don't worry, you're just having Disney spells..."

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There are 64 funny Doctor jokes in this category.

Prev 5 | Next 5