Doctor jokes

There are 64 funny Doctor jokes in this category.

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Red Buttons talks about Old Age (Added On: 2011-01-14 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

Appearing on Dennis Miller's show, Red Buttons announced he was 80 years old, but that 80 is not old. He explained:

Old is when your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you're barefooted.
Old is when your Doctor doesn't give you x-rays anymore, but just holds you up to the light.
Old is when a sexy babe catches your fancy and your pacemaker opens the garage door nearest your car.
Old is when you remember when the Dead Sea was only sick.
Old is when your wife says "lets go upstairs and make Love" and you answer "Honey, I can't do both"

And he adds...

Sure I've gotten old. I've had 2 bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, new knees, and fought prostate cancer and diabetes. I'm half blind, can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine, take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts. I have bouts with dementia, poor circulation, hardly feel my hands and feet anymore, can't remember if I'm 85 or 92, but ... THANK GOD, I STILL HAVE MY FLORIDA DRIVER'S LICENSE.

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Irresistible (Added On: 2011-01-09 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

A man is walking down the beach and comes across an old bottle. He picks it up, pulls out the cork and out pops a genie.The genie says, "Thank you for freeing me from the bottle. In return I will grant you three wishes."The man says "Great! I always dreamed of this and I know exactly what I want. First, I want one billion dollars in a Swiss bank account.Poof! There is a flash of light and a piece of paper with account numbers appears in his hand. He continues, "Next, I want a brand new red Ferrari right here." Poof! There is a flash of light and a bright red brand-new Ferrari appears right next to him. He continues, "Finally, I want to be irresistible to women." Poof! There is a flash of light and he turns into a box of chocolates.

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The Sardarji Doctor (Added On: 2010-12-06 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

The Sardarji Doctor to his patient: "It`s very important that you
take this medicine exactly 30 minutes before you feel the pain."

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Regularity (Added On: 2010-12-04 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

Woman: I have a problem. Doctor: Well, are you regular? Woman: Yes I am. Every day I do a number one at 7:30 in the morning and a number two at 8:30. Doctor: So, what's the problem? Woman: I don't get up untill 9:30.

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Bad Joke Dont Read (Added On: 2010-11-30 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

A nun walks out of a church and sees two little boys kneeling down with their penises stuck in the snow. She runs over to them and asks "Billy, Jimmy what are you doing?"Billy replies "Oh, Father O'Sullivan likes a couple cold ones after the service"

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There are 64 funny Doctor jokes in this category.

Prev 5 | Next 5