Doctor jokes

There are 37 funny Doctor jokes in this category.

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Work Vs Prison (Added On: 2010-06-30 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

In Prison:You spend your time in an 8 x 10 cellAt Work:You spend your time in an 6 x 8 cubicleIn Prison:You get three free meals a dayAt Work:You get one break for a meal you pay forIn Prison:A guard locks and unlocks all doors for youAt Work:You carry a security card, you unlock the doorsIn Prison:You get to watch TV and play gamesAt Work:You get fired for watching TV and playing gamesIn Prison:You get your own toiletAt Work:You have to shareIn Prison:Family and friends are allowed to visitAt Work:You're not allowed to speak to family or friendsIn Prison:Expenses are paid by taxpayers and work is not requiredAt Work:You pay to go to work and you get to deduct expenseson your taxes to pay for prisonersIn Prison:You look through the bars, hoping to get outAt Work:You want to get out so you can go inside the barsIn Prison:The wardens who are often called sadisticAt Work:The wardens are called managers

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Second Opinion (Added On: 2010-06-13 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

A Doctor and his wife were having a heated argument at breakfast. The Doctor, clearly miffed, blurts to his wife, "You aren't so good in bed either!" and stormed off to work.By midmorning, he decided he'd better make amends and phoned home.After many rings, his wife, clearly out of breath, answers the phone. "What took you so long to answer and why are you panting?""I was in bed.""What in the world are you doing in bed at this hour?" "Getting a second opinion."

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Washing Machine (Added On: 2010-06-12 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

What is the difference between a washing machine and a sorority girl?You can throw your load in a washing machine and it won't follow you around for three weeks.

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" Crack Found on Governors (Added On: 2010-04-06 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

" Crack Found on Governor's Daughter "

" Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says "

" Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers "

" Iraqi Head, Seeks Arms "

" Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus? "

" Prostitutes Appeal to Pope "

" Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over "

" Teacher Strikes Idle Kids "

" Miners Refuse to Work after Death "

" Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant "

" War Dims Hope for Peace "

" If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile "

" Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures "

" Enfield, (London) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide "

" Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges "

" Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge "

" New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group "

" Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft "

" Kids Make Nutritious Snacks "

" Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy "

" Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half "

" Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors "

" Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead "

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At the Doctors Reception (Added On: 2010-02-21 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

This woman consulted a doctor, explaining that for many years she sufferred from
excessive farting, but there was never any sound or smell so she had done
nothing about it. So the Doctor took down all of her medical history, a process
that took quite a while.

At the end, the woman says, "You see, Doctor, while I've been sitting here
talking to you I've broken wind five times, but there's no sound and no smell."

At this point, the Doctor scribbled something on a pad, ripped off a sheet and
handed it to the woman. "What's this?" she asked, "some pills?"

"No", replied the Doctor, "that is a prescription for a hearing aid; come in
next week, and we will operate on your nose."

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There are 37 funny Doctor jokes in this category.

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