English jokes

Learn Chinese (Added On: 2011-04-15 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

Ever wanted to learn a language OTHER than English? Well, here's your first Chinese lesson...

Are you harboring a fugitive- Hu Yu Hai Ding

See me A.S.A.P. - Kum Hia Nao

Small Horse - Tai Ni Po Ni

Your price is too high - No Bai Dam Thing

Did you go to the beach - Wai Yu So Tan

I bumped into a coffee table - Ai Bang Mai Ni

I think you need a facelift - Chin Tu Fat

It's very dark in here - Wai So Dim?

Has your flight been delayed? - Hao Long Wei Ting?

That was an unauthorized execution.- Lin Ching

I thought you were on a diet - Wai Yu Mun Ching?

This is a tow away zone. - No Pah King

You are not very bright - Yu So Dum

I got this for free - Ai No Pei

I am not guilty - Wai Hang Mi?

Please, stay a while longer - Wai Go Nao?

Our meeting was scheduled for next week - Wai Yu Kum Nao

They have arrived - Hia Dei Kum

Stay out of sight - Lei Lo

He's cleaning his automobile - Wa Shing Ka

Does this bathroom stink! Hu Flung Dung?

Financial exchanges (Added On: 2010-12-24 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

I had a bunch of Canadian dollars I needed to exchange for some real money (USD), so I went to the money exchange window at the local bank. It was a short line, with just one guy in front of me. He was an Asian guy who was trying to exchange yen for dollars and he was a little agitated.

In a thick accent, he asked the teller, "Why it change? Yesterday I get two hunat dolla fo yen - today I get hunat eighty? Why it change?"

The teller says, "Fluctuations".

The Asian guy says, "Fluc you Americans too!"

Another gripe... (Added On: 2010-01-11 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

Why is "abbreviation" such a long word?