Ethnic jokes

There are 242 funny Ethnic jokes in this category.

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English is very strange (Added On: 2012-03-01 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

Did you know that "verb" is a noun? How can you look up words in a dictionary if you can't spell them? If a word is misspelled in a dictionary, how would we ever know? If two mouses are mice and two louses are lice, why aren't two houses hice? If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words? If you wrote a letter, perhaps you bote your tongue? If you've read a book, you can reread it. But wouldn't this also mean that you would have to "member" somebody in order to remember them? In Chinese, why are the words for crisis and opportunity the same? Is it a coincidence that the only 15 letter word that can be spelled without repeating a letter is uncopyrightable? Is there another word for a synonym? Shouldn't there be a shorter word for "monosyllabic"? What is another word for "thesaurus"? Where do swear words come from? Why can't you make another word using all the letters in "anagram"? Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing? Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things? Why do people use the word "irregardless"? Why do some people type "cool" as "kewl?" Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack? Why do we say something's out of order when its broken but we never say in of order when it works? Why does "cleave" mean both split apart and stick together? Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing? Why does flammable and inflammable mean the same thing? Why does the Chinese ideogram for trouble symbolize two women living under one roof? Why does X stand for a kiss and O stand for a hug? Why doesn't "onomatopoeia" sound like what it is? Why don't we say "why" instead of "how come"? Why is "crazy man" an insult, while to insert a comma and say "Crazy, man!" is a compliment? Why are a wise man and wise guy opposites? Why is abbreviation such a long word? Why is dyslexic so hard to spell? Why is it so hard to remember how to spell MNEMONIC? Why is it that no word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver, or purple? Why is it that the word "gullible" isn't in the dictionary? Why is it that we recite at a play and play at a recital? Why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song? Why is the plural of goose-geese, and not the plural of moose-meese? Why isn't "palindrome" spelled the same way backwards? Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?

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Easiest quiz in the world! (Added On: 2012-02-15 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

How long did the Hundred Years War last?
Which country makes Panama hats?
From which animal do we get catgut?
In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution?
What is a camel's hair brush made of?
The Canary Islands in the Pacific are named after what animal?
What was King George VI's first name?
What color is a purple finch?
Where are Chinese gooseberries from?
How long did the Thirty Years War last?

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ANSWERS TO THE QUIZ (no peeking!)

116 years, from 1337 to 1453.
Ecuador.
From sheep and horses.
November. The Russian calendar was 13 days behind ours.
Squirrel fir.
The Latin name was Insularia Canaria - Island of the Dogs.
Albert. When he came to the throne in 1936 he respected the wish of Queen Victoria that no future king should ever be called Albert.
Distinctively crimson.
New Zealand.
Thirty years, of course. From 1618 to 1648.

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Asians & Mexicans (Added On: 2012-02-05 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

Q. How do you know when Asians have moved into the neighborhood?

A. Mexicans start getting car insurance.

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How do you know if (Added On: 2012-02-05 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

How do you know if an Asian has been in your house?

- Your dog is gone and your homework is done.

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Mercedes Benz Driving Test (Added On: 2012-01-30 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

1. Before changing lanes you should:
(A) signal.
(B) check for traffic.
(C) both a & b.
(D) just swing into the lane without doing either a or b.

2. The top light on a traffic signal is:
(A) red.
(B) yellow.
(C) green.
(D) Who cares, it doesn't apply to me anyway.

3. The speed limit in a residential area is:
(A) 35 MPH.
(B) 25 MPH.
(C) 45 MPH.
(D) I paid $65,000 for this car, I'll drive as fast as I want.

4. In California, when a pedestrian enters a cross walk, you should:
(A) slow to a walking pace.
(B) go around the block.
(C) stop.
(D) speed up and honk your horn.

5. In the other 49 states, when a pedestrian enters a cross walk, you
should:
(A) maintain your speed.
(B) slow a little.
(C) slow a lot.
(D) speed up and don't bother honking your horn.

6. Your may make a left turn from the right lane:
(A) never.
(B) when there is a left turn arrow.
(C) on Sunday at 2 A.M.
(D) When ever you damn well feel like it.

7. When a school bus has flashing red lights, you:
(A) must stop.
(B) may pass on the left after checking.
(C) may pass after slowing to 5 MPH.
(D) use your car phone to order Chinese food
while passing on the left.

8. When you hear an emergency vehicle siren, you should:
(A) pull to the right and stop.
(B) pull into the nearest car wash.
(C) roll down your windows.
(D) turn up the radio and ignore it.

9. You may make a U-turn in front of a fire station:
(A) never.
(B) when the doors are closed.
(C) if there are no police around.
(D) when you have missed your turn.

10. When approaching a traffic light where cars
are stopped, you should:
(A) relax.
(B) watch the signal.
(C) stop a safe distance back from the car in front.
(D) call your wife/secretary on your car
phone so everyone can see that you have a car
phone.

11. When turning onto a side street, you should
signal:
(A) two blocks before turning.
(B) two car lengths before turning.
(C) two miles before turning.
(D) what for, if the guy behind me hits me, I'll sue him.

12. A U-turn in a business district is legal:

(A) only at an intersection.
(B) always.
(C) never.
(D) if I pass a sale at the jewelers.

13. Parking in a red-zone is permitted:
(A) never.
(B) on Sunday.
(C) if there is a fire hydrant.
(D) when I'll only be there for five minutes.

14. What is your annual gross income:
(A) $10,000-20,000.
(B) $20,000-40,000.
(C) $40,000-80,000.
(D) $80,000 and up.

Scoring

If you answered 'd' on every question, you have a perfect
score. You are certified to drive a Mercedes Benz
Automobile. You may, at your discretion, proceed to your
nearest Mercedes Benz authorized distributor and select
the Mercedes Benz Automobile of your choice.

If you answered a, b, or c on two or fewer questions,
you may request a retest in two weeks time. Please study
the Mercedes Benz motor vehicle guide in preparation for
your retest.

If you answered a, b, or c on more than two questions,
we're sorry, you just don't have the proper attitude to
be a Mercedes Benz Automobile driver. Perhaps you should
consider a BMW.

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There are 242 funny Ethnic jokes in this category.

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