Food jokes

There are 5 funny Food jokes in this category.

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Purchasing mailing lists (Added On: 2010-02-11 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

With more than twelve billion catalogs being mailed annually, it's little wonder that marketers are distributing mailing lists anywhere possible. In one particularly cruel move, the proprietors of a chocolate catalog purchased the mailing list of a weight-loss organization. Chocolate sales rose almost immediately, but the weight-loss group wised up and now keeps it clients' names to itself.

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Sorry for eating the peanuts (Added On: 2010-02-02 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

A man visits his aunt in the nursing home. It turns out that she is taking a nap, so he just sits down in a chair in her room, flips through a few magazines, and munches on some peanuts sitting in a bowl on the table.Eventually, the aunt wakes up, and her nephew realizes he's absentmindedly finished the entire bowl. "I'm so sorry, auntie, I've eaten all of your peanuts!""That's okay, dearie," the aunt replied. "After I've sucked the chocolate off, I don't care for them anyway."

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We could have been here sooner (Added On: 2009-07-31 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

An elderly couple were killed in an accident and found themselves being given a tour of heaven by Saint Peter. "Here is your oceanside condo, over there are the tennis courts, swimming pool, and two golf courses. If you need any refreshments, just stop by any of the many bars located throughout the area.""Heck, Gloria," the old man hissed when Saint Peter walked off, "we could have been here ten years ago if you hadn't heard about all that stupid oat bran, wheat germ, and low-fat diets!"

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Food fight in a store (Added On: 2009-05-08 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

In February 1994 in New Brighton, Minn., a 32-year-old man and his 24-year-old girlfriend were arrested after a food fight in a grocery store. After arguing loudly, the couple began throwing sweet potatoes at each other. Eventually, the man allegedly threw the woman into several vegetable racks, sending the contents spilling to the floor. As both continued to brawl on the floor, she allegedly stuffed lettuce into the man's mouth.

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Food one-liner (Added On: 2009-04-30 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

On April Fools Day, a mother put a fire cracker under the pancakes. She blew her stack.

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There are 5 funny Food jokes in this category.

Prev 5 | Next 5