Foul Language jokes

There are 108 funny Foul Language jokes in this category.

Prev 5 | Next 5

Ventriloquist and the Polack (Added On: 2010-06-18 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

A ventriloquist had just finished his polack joke routine when a huge, drunk polack confronted him, ''I'm sick of your polack jokes and I'm going to knock the shit out of you.'' ''I'm sorry, it was all in good fun,'' replied the comedian. The polack retorted, ''I was talking to little asshole on your knee."

---

Little Johnny (Added On: 2010-06-17 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

Little Johnny returns from school and says he got an F in arithmatic. "Why" asks his father? "The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3?" and I said "6" "But thats right!" "Then she asked me 'how much is 2x3?" "Whats the fucking difference?" "Thats what I said!"

---

Sister Mary Katherine lived in (Added On: 2010-06-09 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

Sister Mary Katherine lived in a convent, a block away from Jack's liquor
store. One day, in walked Sister Mary K. and said, "Oh Jack, give me a pint
o' the brandy."

"Sister Mary Katherine," exclaimed Jack, " I could never do that! I have
never sold alcohol to a nun in my life!"

"Oh, Jack," she responded, "it's only for the Mother Superior." Her voice
dropped. "It helps her constipation, you know."

So Jack sold her the brandy. Later that night, Jack closed the store and
walked home. As he passed the convent, who should he see but Sister Mary
Katherine? And she was snookered. She was singing and dancing,whirling
around and flapping her arms like a bird, right there on the sidewalk.

A crowd was gathering. Jack pushed through and exclaimed, "Sister Mary
Katherine! For shame! And you told me this was for the Mother Superior's
constipation!"

Sister Mary Katherine didn't miss a beat as she replied, "And so it is, me
lad, so it is. When she sees me, she's gonna shit!"

---

An Italian in America (Added On: 2010-06-02 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

(must be read with an Italian or other foreign accent)

One day ima gonna America to bigga hotel.

Inna morning I go down to eat breakfast. I tella waitress I wanna two pissis toast. She brings me only one piss. I tella her I wanna two piss. She say go to the toilet. I say you no understand, I wanna to piss onna my plate. She say you better no piss onna plate you sonna ma bitch. I don't even know the lady and she call me sonna ma bitch.

Later I go to eat at the bigga restaurant. The waitress brings me a spoon and a knife but no fock. I tella her I wanna fock. She tell me everyone wanna fock. I tell her you no understand. I wanna fock on the table. She say you better not fock on the table you sonna ma bitch.

So I go back to my room inna hotel and there is no shits onna my bed. Call the manager and tella him I wanna shit. He tell me to go to toilet. I say you no understand. I wanna shit onna my bed. He say you better not shit onna bed, you sonna ma bitch.

I go to the checkout and the man at the desk say: 'Peace on you.'

I say piss on you too, you sonna ma bitch, I gonna back to Italy.

---

Hungry Rooster (Added On: 2010-05-29 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

A Rolls Royce pulls up in front of a really expensive restaurant and a really rich sheik gets out from it followed by a harem of women, and a rooster. The "party" is escorted to a table and given a menu.

When time to order the sheik orders for himself and the harem, and also asks for a basket of apples for the rooster. The waiter thinks it a bit strange, but does as is asked, and brings the apples for the rooster. One by one, the rooster eats all of the apples. Having
noticed this, the sheik orders another basket of apples for the rooster. Again the rooster eats all the apples.

When summoned again, the waiter asks the sheik about the voracious appetite of the rooster.

The sheik explains:
"I was in the desert one day and found a lamp.
It was a bit dirty so I rubbed it to clean it.
Just as I did, out came a Genie and granted me three wishes...

My first wish was to have an endless supply of money.
My second wish was to have many beatiful women.
And my third wish was to have an insatiable cock!"

---

There are 108 funny Foul Language jokes in this category.

Prev 5 | Next 5