Gender humor jokes

There are 23 funny Gender humor jokes in this category.

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A stolen credit card (Added On: 2010-04-09 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it because the thief was spending less than his wife did.

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Golden Night Drinkin (Added On: 2010-02-10 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

A man went out drinking with his friends and came home the next morning to find his wife waiting for him. He apologized for worrying her but proceeded to tell her that he had been in the most elegant bar in the world! "Everything was gold.. the carpets, the glasses, the cutlery, the curtains and even the urinal. Here... I have a book of matches in my pocket. Phone if you don't believe me."The incredulous wife did just that and asked the manager, "Is everything in your establishment really gold?""Yes," he replied, "everything is gold colored.""Even the urinal?" she queried.The manager put his hand over the phone and said to his bartender, "This is the wife of that guy who relieved himself in the tuba last night."

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Dictionary for women (Added On: 2010-02-04 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

Grocery List (grow*ser*ee list) n. What you spend half an hour writing, then forget to take with you to the store. Hair Dresser (hare dres*er) n. Someone who is able to create a style you will never be able to duplicate again. See "Magician." Hardware Store (hard*war stor) n. Similar to a black hole in space-if he goes in, he isn't coming out anytime soon.

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Gender geography (Added On: 2009-12-26 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

GEOGRAPHY OF A WOMAN
Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa; half discovered, half wild, naturally beautiful with fertile soil.

Between 23 and 30, a woman is like America; well developed and open to trade, especially for someone with cash.

Between 31 and 35, a woman is like India; very hot, relaxed and convinced of her own beauty.

Between 36 and 40, a woman is like France; gently aging but still warm, and a desirable place to visit.

Between 41 and 50, a woman is like Great Britain; with a glorious and all conquering past.

Between 51 and 60, a woman is like Yugoslavia; lost the war and haunted by past mistakes.

Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Russia; very wide, and borders are now un-patrolled.

After 70, she becomes Tibet. Wildly beautiful, with a mysterious past and the wisdom of the ages... only those with an adventurous spirit and a thirst for spiritual knowledge visit there.

GEOGRAPHY OF A MAN
At any age, a man is like Iran - ruled by a dick

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Love contract (Added On: 2009-11-10 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

I, THE UNDERSIGNED, AGREE THAT... 1. In the unlikely event of my not having an orgasm after you've drunkenly rolled on top of me and pumped away for five minutes, wheezing like an old man with emphysema, I shall politely fake one. And it'll be a really good act too, with me saying stuff like "So THIS is screwing!" and howling like a cat that's being repeatedly jabbed with a needle. 2. I fully understand that a woman's main role in any relationship is to take the blame. So when you stub your toe in the bathroom or your football teams lose, I agree that - by some complex scientific equation incomprehensible to woman - it will be my fault. Even if I wasn't there. 3. Whenever my friends and I get together for a girlie chat, I will tell them that you are better hung than a large-balled Himalayan yak. 4. And I will also mention this to YOUR friends. A lot. 5. After sex (which I will NEVER refer to as "making love"), I will not expect you to cuddle me for hours till your arm goes dead. Nor will I let my hair annoyingly get in your face. 6. I will never, ever give your penis a "cute" nickname. 7. In bed, I will be happy as can be to try any novel sexual position you fancy. Especially ones where I do all the work and you just lie there, grinning. 8. I will ruthlessly interrogate my attractive female friends and inform you if any of them have the slightest bisexual tendencies. Then I'll invite them around for dinner. And hide their car keys so they have to stay. 9. After we split up, I will never sleep with any of your friends or colleagues. Or anyone else you have ever met. Or may one day meet. And if men attempt to chat me up, I will solemnly inform them that you have "ruined me for other men." 10. I understand that mechanical objects like cars, computers, and remote control devices are beyond the comprehension of women. I will only make a fool of myself if I attempt to operate them, so you're in charge of the lot. Except for the oven, iron and the washing machine, of course. Signed:_____________________________Date:________________

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There are 23 funny Gender humor jokes in this category.

Prev 5 | Next 5