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General jokes
True story: Pervert at the hairdressers (Added On: 2010-09-01 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke) This TRUE STORY from my secretary. Last week her mother was getting her usual "do" when her hairdresser relayed a previous-day experience: The hairdresser (owner) was getting ready to close up her shop when a man came in and asked if she could give him a "quick cut" before she closed. She agreed,and as she was trimming the guy's hair, he put his hand under the "cape" and the cape started moving. (She became somewhat uncomfortable.) Then, the lady got REAL concerned when the man put his OTHER hand under the cape and the cape started moving MORE; she thought she was trimming the hair of a PERVERT. She then panicked, took a hairdryer and smashed the man up-side his head, causing him to black out on the floor. The lady hurried and called 911, police came ... only to find out that the poor guy was JUST CLEANING HIS GLASSES! He Was a Saint (Added On: 2010-08-31 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke) There were two evil brothers. They were rich and used their money to keep their ways from the public eye. They even attended the same church and looked to be perfect Christians. Then, their pastor retired and a new one was hired. Not only could he see right through the brothers' deception, but he also spoke well and true, and the church started to swell in numbers. A fund-raising campaign was started to build a new assembly. All of a sudden, one of the brothers died. The remaining brother sought out the new pastor the day before the funeral and handed him a check for the amount needed to finish paying for the new building. "I have only one condition," he said. "At his funeral, you must say my brother was a saint." The pastor gave his word and deposited the check. The next day at the funeral, the pastor did not hold back. "He was an evil man," he said. "He cheated on his wife and abused his family." After going on in this vein for a small time, he concluded with, "But, compared to his brother, he was a saint." Shots (Added On: 2010-08-31 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke) As the man began walking toward the door, his wife asked, "Where are you going?"The man replied, "I'm going to the doctor.""Why? Are you sick?" the wife asked."No," the husband replied. "I'm going to get me some of those new Viagra pills."His wife got up out of her rocker and started putting on her coat. The husband turned to her and asked, "Where are you going?"The wife replied, "I'm going to the doctor, too.""Why?" asked her husband.His wife replied, "If you're going to start using that rusty old thing again, I'm going to get a tetanus shot." Car needs a fixin! (Added On: 2010-08-30 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke) My wife came home yesterday and said, "Honey, the car won't start, but I know what the problem is." I asked her what it was and she told me it has water in the carburetor. I thought for a moment, then said, "You know I don't mean this badly, but you don't know the carburetor from the accelerator." "No, there's definitely water in the carburetor" she insisted. "OK, Honey, that's fine, I'll just go take a look. Where is it?" "In the lake!" British Television (Added On: 2010-08-29 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke) Recently an episode of the LWT series BREAD contained the Man #1: Well I didn't want Julie to get pregnant and Julie didn't Man #2: I suppose if you don't want to get wet, you don't go in Man #1: But what if you only want to paddle? Man #2: Then you wear your wellies. (NB. Wellington Boots are knee-length rubber boots, if cross-culturality
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