General jokes

There are 2816 funny General jokes in this category.

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One day, Bill and Tom (Added On: 2012-02-01 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

One day, Bill and Tom went to a restaurant for dinner. As soon as the waiter took out two steaks, Bill quickly picked out the bigger steak for himself.Tom wasn't happy about that: "When are you going to learn to be polite?"Bill: "If you had the chance to pick first, which one would you pick?"Tom: "The smaller piece, of course."Bill: "What are you whining about then? The smaller piece is what you want, right?"

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Mixup at the nudist colony (Added On: 2012-01-31 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

A man moves into a nudist colony. He receives a letter from his mother asking him to send her a current picture. Too embarrassed to let her know that he lives in a nudist colony, he cuts one in half and sends her the top part.

Later he receives another letter asking him to send a picture to his grandmother. The man cuts another picture in half but accidentally sends the bottom half. He is really worried when he realizes that he sent the wrong part but then remembers how bad his grandmother's eyesight is and hopes she won't notice.

A few weeks later he receives a letter from his grandmother. It says, "Thank you for the picture. Change your hair style... it makes your nose look too long."

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Bureaucracy (Added On: 2012-01-31 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

Let's play a game, its called bureaucracy, the first one to do anything loses.

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The SUPER Salesman... (Added On: 2012-01-30 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

A man walks into an insurance office and asks for a job.

"Sorry, we don't need anyone..." they replied.
"You can't afford not to hire me. I can sell anyone anything anytime!"

"Well, we have two prospects that no one has been able to sell. If you can sell just one, then you have a job."

He was gone about two hours and returned and handed them two checks, one for $25,000 and another for $50,000.

"How in the world did you do that?" they asked.
"I told you I'm the worlds best salesman, I can sell anyone anything, anytime!"

"Did you get a urine sample?" they asked him.
"What's that?" he asked.
"Well, if you sell a policy over $20,000 the company requires a urine sample. Now take these two bottles and go back and get urine samples."

He was gone about 8 hours and the office was about to close, when in he walks in with two five gallon buckets, one in each hand. He sets the buckets down and reaches in his shirt pocket and produces two bottles of urine and sets them on the desk and says, "Here's Mr. Jone's and this one is Mrs. Johnson's."

"That's good," they said, "but what's in those two buckets?"

"Well, I passed by the school house and they were having a state teachers convention -
so I stopped and sold them a group policy!"

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Which to Shoot? (Added On: 2012-01-29 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

You are in a room with a mass murderer, a terrorist and a lawyer.

You have a gun with only two bullets. What do you do?

Shoot the lawyer. Twice.

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There are 2816 funny General jokes in this category.

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