Genie jokes

There are 21 funny Genie jokes in this category.

Prev 5 | Next 5

Bill Clinton & the Genie (Added On: 2012-01-19 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

One day Bill Clinton was walking down the beach when he found a genie lamp. He rubbed it and a genie came out. He said to Bill "You have one wish."

Bill Clinton cried "But I thought you were supposed to have three wishes!" "Well you are the most powerful man in the world so I only allow one for you," replied the Genie.

Bill Clinton thought hard and said "Bring peace to the middle east." He took out a map to show the Genie.

The genie said "Nope. Can't do that choose another wish." This next wish came up right away.

"I want the WHOLE world to love Monica Lewinsky as much as I do" The Genie stared at him with a raised an eyebrow. The Genie replied quickly "Um...can I take a look at that map again?"

---

Childrens letters to god (Added On: 2012-01-19 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

Dear GOD,
In school they told us what You do. Who does it when You are on vacation?
Jane

Dear GOD,
Are you really invisible or is that just a trick?
Lucy

Dear GOD,
Is it true my father won't get in Heaven if he uses his bowling words in the house?
Anita

Dear GOD,
Did you mean for the giraffe to look like that or was it an accident?
Norma

Dear GOD,
Instead of letting people die and having to make new ones,why don't you just keep the ones you have now?
Jane

Dear GOD,
Who draws the lines around the countries?
Nan

Dear GOD,
I went to this wedding and they kissed right in church. Is that okay?
Neil

Dear GOD,
What does it mean You are a Jealous God? I thought You had everything.
Jane

Dear GOD,
Thank you for the baby brother, but what I prayed for was a puppy.
Joyce

Dear GOD,
Why is Sunday school on Sunday? I thought it was supposed to be our day
of rest. Tom L.

Dear GOD,
Please send me a pony. I never asked for anything before, You can look it up.
Bruce

Dear GOD,
If You give me a genie lamp like Aladdin, I will give you anything you want except my money or my chess set.
Raphael

Dear GOD,
Maybe Cain and Abel would not kill each other so much if they had their own rooms. It works with my brother.
Larry

Dear GOD,
I want to be just like my Daddy when I get big but not with so much hair all over.
Sam

Dear GOD,
I think the stapler is one of your greatest inventions.
Ruth M.

Dear GOD,
I bet it is very hard for You to love all of everybody in the whole world. There are only four people in our family and I can never do it.
Nan

Dear GOD,
If You watch me in church Sunday, I'll show You my new shoes.
Mickey D.

Dear GOD,
I would like to live 900 years like the guy in the Bible.
Love, Chris

Dear GOD,
We read Thomas Edison made light. But in school they said You did it. So I bet he stoled your idea. Sincerely,
Donna

---

Bad Genie (Added On: 2012-01-14 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

A man was sitting alone in his office one night when a genie popped up out of his ashtray and said, "And what will your third wish be?"

The man looked at the genie and said, "Huh? How can I be getting a third wish when I haven't had a first or second wish yet?"

"You have had two wishes already," the genie said, "but your second wish was for me to put everything back the way it was before you made your first wish. Thus, you remember nothing,
because everything is the way it was before you made any wishes. You now have one wish left."

"Okay," said the man, "I don't believe this, but what the heck. I wish I were irresistible to women."

"Funny," said the genie as it granted his wish and disappeared forever. "That was your first wish, too!"

---

Genie in the bottle (Added On: 2011-12-29 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

There was this man walking on the beach and he found a bottle. He rubbed it and a genie came out and said, "I will grant you 3 wishes."The man wished for money. POOF! The genie gave him billions of dollars - more than a man could spend in a lifetime.The man wished for health. POOF! The genie gave him a perfectly healthy body.The man wished for happiness. The genie raised his hands to grant the wish, then said, "Master, I cannot do that. You need to find that happiness... in your heart." In return for the failed wish, the genie gave the man more money.gavinfx@yahoo.com

---

Deaf Genie (Added On: 2011-12-18 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

A man walks into a bar and sees a guy with a really big lighter.
He asks the man,"Where did you get such a big lighter?"
The man replies,"See that man playing piano over there?
He's a genie and he'll grant you one wish."

So the guy walks over to the genie and says,"I wish for a million bucks." All of a sudden the room fills up with a million ducks.

The man walks over to the guy with the lighter and says, "That genie is a little hard of hearing isn't he."

The guy replies, "no kidding"!
You think I asked for a 14 inch bic!"

---

There are 21 funny Genie jokes in this category.

Prev 5 | Next 5