Golf jokes

There are 28 funny Golf jokes in this category.

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The Colorado State Department of (Added On: 2010-06-14 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

The Colorado State Department of Fish and Wildlife is advising hikers, hunters, fishermen, and golfers to take extra precautions and be on the alert for bears while in the Dillon, Breckenridge, and Keystone area.They advise people to wear noise-producing devices such as little bells on their clothing to alert but not startle the bears unexpectedly.They also advise you to carry pepper spray in case of an encounter with a bear. It is also a good idea to watch for signs of bear activity. People should be able to recognize the difference between black bear and grizzly bear droppings.Black bear droppings are smaller and contain berries and possibly squirrel fur.Grizzly bear droppings have bells in them and smell like pepper spray.

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Handicap Golf (Added On: 2010-06-12 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

A guy about to tee off was approached by a man who held out a card that read, "I am a deaf mute. May I please play through?" The first man gave the card back, angrily shaking his head, and saying, "No, you CANNOT play through." He assumed the guy read lips so he mouthed, "I can't believe you would try to use your handicap to your own advantage like that! Shame on you!"The deaf man walked away and the first man whacked the ball onto the green and then walked off to finish the hole. Just as he was about to put the ball into the hole he was hit in the head with a golf ball that knocked him out cold. When he came to a few minutes later, he looked around and saw the deaf mute sternly looking at him, one hand on his hip, the other hand holding up four fingers.

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Slow Golf (Added On: 2010-05-11 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

Two men were having an awfully slow round of golf because the two ladies in front of them managed to get into every sand trap, lake, and rough on the course. They didn't bother to wave the men on through, which is proper golf etiquette.
After two hours of waiting and waiting, one man said, "I think I'll walk up there and ask those gals to let us play through."

He walked out the fairway, got halfway to the ladies, stopped, turned around, and came back, explaining, "I can't do it. One of those women is my wife and the other is my mistress! Maybe you'd better go talk to them."

The second man walked toward the ladies, got halfway there and, just as his partner had done, stopped, turned around and walked back and said: "Small world."

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A New Set Of Golf Clubs (Added On: 2010-05-01 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

''I just got a new set of golf clubs for my wife!''''Great trade!''

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First-Time Golfer (Added On: 2010-04-28 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

A retiree was given a set of golf clubs by his co-workers. Thinking he'd try the game, he asked the local pro for lessons, explaining that he knew nothing whatever of the game.The pro showed him the stance and swing, then said, "Just hit the ball toward the flag on the first green."The novice teed up and smacked the ball straight down the fairway and onto the green, where it stopped inches from the hole."Now what?" the fellow asked the speechless pro."Uh... you're supposed to hit the ball into the cup," the pro finally said, after he was able to speak again."Oh great! NOW you tell me." said the beginner.

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There are 28 funny Golf jokes in this category.

Prev 5 | Next 5