Golf jokes

There are 29 funny Golf jokes in this category.

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An engineer, doctor, and pastor golfing (Added On: 2009-12-18 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. Engineer: What's with these guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes! Doctor: I don't know, but I've never seen such ineptitude! Pastor: Hey, here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word with him. [dramatic pause] Hi George. Say, what's with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they? George: Oh, yes, that's a group of blind fire fighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime. The group was silent for a moment. Pastor: That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight. Doctor: Good idea. And I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist buddy and see if there's anything he can do for them. Engineer: Why can't these guys play at night?

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Holy Golfing Guide (Added On: 2009-11-09 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

There were three golfers.One golfer hit the ball and it went in the water. He walked over to the edge and stuck his golf club into the water. The water parted and the golfer hit his ball onto the green.The second golfer hit his ball. It also splashed into the water. The golfer walked onto the water, found his the ball, placed it next to the water hazard and hit it onto the green.As you may have guessed, the first golfer was Moses, and the second golfer was Jesus.The third teed off. The ball soared through the air and it too was headed for the water. However, just before the ball went in the water, a fish jumped up and grabbed the ball in its mouth. As the fish was about to go back into the water, a eagle grabbed the fish and started to fly away. Then, as the eagle flew over the green a big flash of lightning hit the eagle. Well, the eagle dropped the fish and as the fish fell on the green, the ball rolled out of his mouth and into the hole.Then Jesus shouted, "Dad! If you do that again,I'm going to stop inviting you to play golf with us!"

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Golf Ball Hunt (Added On: 2009-10-02 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

One fine day, Jim and Bob are out golfing. Jim slices his ball deep into a wooded ravine. He grabs his 8-iron and proceeds down the embankment into the ravine in search of his ball.The brush is quite thick, but Jim searches diligently and suddenly he spots something shiny. As he gets closer, he realizes that the shiny object is in fact an 8-iron in the hands of a skeleton lying near an old golf ball.Jim calls out to his golfing partner in an agitated voice, "Hey Bob, come here, I got trouble down here."Bob comes running over to the edge of the ravine and calls out, "What's the matter Jim?"Jim shouts back, "Throw me my 7-iron! You can't get out of here with an 8-iron."

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Golfer Pays His Respects (Added On: 2009-09-30 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

A golfer and his buddies where playing a big round of golf for $200. At the eighteenth green the golfer had a ten foot putt to win the round, and the $200.

As he was lining up his putt, a funeral procession started to pass by. The golfer set down his putter, took his hat off, placed it over his chest, and began to wait for the funeral procession to pass. After it passed, he picked up his putter and returned to lining up his putt.

One of his buddies said, "That was the most touching thing I have ever seen. I can't believe you stopped playing, possibly loosing your concentration, to pay your respects."

"Well, we were married for 25 years!"

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Two Dwarfs Playing Golf (Added On: 2009-09-24 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

Two dwarfs were on a golf vacation, and after playing 36 holes on the first day, they hit the local bar.

After a few drinks, they decided to pick up two prostitutes and take them back to their hotel rooms.

The first dwarf, however, was unable to get an erection. His depression was made worse by the fact that from the next room he heard cries of "One, two, three ... uhh!" all night long.

On the first tee the next morning, the second dwarf asked the first, "How did it go?"

The first whispered back, "It was so embarrassing. I couldn't get an erection."

The second dwarf shook his head. "You think that's embarrassing?" he cried. "I couldn't even get on the damn bed!"

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There are 29 funny Golf jokes in this category.

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