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Golf jokes
The Rules of Bedroom Golf (Added On: 2011-07-10 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke) Each player shall furnish his own equipment for play, normally one Playing Blind (Added On: 2011-06-05 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke) Stevie Wonder and Jack Nicklaus are in a bar. Nicklaus turns to Wonder and says, "How is the singing career going?" Nicklaus replies: "Not too bad, I am not winning as much as I used to but I'm still making a bit of money. I have some problems with my swing but I think I've got that right now." "I always find that when my swing goes wrong I need to stop playing for a while and think about it, then the next time I play it seems to be all right," says Stevie. "You play golf!?" asks Jack. Stevie says, "Yes, I have been playing for years." "But I thought you were blind; how can you play golf if you are blind?" Jack asks. " I get my caddie to stand in the middle of the fairway and he calls to me. I listen for the sound of his voice and play the ball towards him, then when I get to where the ball lands the caddie moves to the green or further down the fairway and again I play the ball towards his voice," explains Stevie. "But how do you putt?" Nicklaus wondered. "Well," says Stevie, "I get my caddie to lean down in front of the hole and call to me with his head on the ground and I just play the ball to the sound of his voice." Nicklaus says, "What is your handicap?" "Well, I play off scratch," Stevie assures Jack. Nicklaus is incredulous and says to Stevie, "We must play a game sometime." Wonder replies, "Well, people don't take me seriously so I only play for money, and I never play for less than $100,000 a hole." Nicklaus thinks it over and says, "OK, I'm up for that. When would you like to play?" "I don't care - any night next week is OK with me." The Engineer at the Golf Course (Added On: 2011-03-19 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke) A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, "What's with these guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!""Ineptitude!" The pastor said, "Hey, here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word with him." [dramatic pause]"Hi George. Say, what's with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow aren't they?"The greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes, that's a group of blind firefighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime."The group was silent for a moment.The pastor said, "That's so sad I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight."The doctor said, "Good idea. And I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist buddy and see if there's anything he can do for them."The engineer said, "Why can't these guys play at night?" Schwartz, Schwartz, Schwartz and Schwartz. (Added On: 2011-01-18 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke) A man calls a lawyer's office. The phone is answered "Schwartz, Schwartz, Schwartz and Schwartz." The man says, "Let me talk to Mr. Schwartz." "I'm sorry, he's on vacation." "Then let me talk to Mr. Schwartz." "He's on a big case, not available for a week." "Then let me talk to Mr. Schwartz." "He's playing golf today." "Okay, then, let me talk to Mr. Schwartz." "Speaking." If at first (Added On: 2010-09-12 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke) At a resort, a fellow walks up to an older fellow who is sitting Younger guy says - "Hey, you gonna just sit around all day? How "Nah," the older fellow replies, "tried it once, didn't like it." "Well then," younger fellow asks "how about a swim? It might be "Nah," the older fellow responds, "tried it once, didn't like it. Younger fellow replies: "Your only child I presume?"
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