Jewish jokes

There are 85 funny Jewish jokes in this category.

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Dumb Jew (Added On: 2011-11-10 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

A Jew and a Christian are being chased by the cops

the Christian driver asks the Jew if the cops are still after them.

The Jew asks how do i know?

Christian: are there bright lights on a car behind us?

Jew: yes no yes no yes no yes no yes no.

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Jewish mother (Added On: 2011-10-25 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

A Jewish mother is walking with her small son along the shore, enjoying the sounds and smells of the ocean.

Suddenly, without warning, a huge wave comes in and washes the boy out to sea. The woman screams, but no one is nearby, and she can't swim. She sees her son's head bobbing up and down as he cries for help and moves farther and farther from shore.

Desperate, she sinks to her knees in the sand. Pleading with God for mercy, she swears she will devote herself to good causes and be faithful in attending synagogue if God will spare her only child.

Suddenly another huge wave crashes in, and deposits her son, wet but unhurt on the sand. She lifts her face to the heavens, extends both arms and cries...

"He had a HAT!!!!"

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Tenacity (Added On: 2011-10-15 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

Q: What's the difference between a Rottweiler and a Jewish Mother? A:

Eventually, the Rottweiler lets go.

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chs (Added On: 2011-10-05 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

How did the Rabbi translate hebrew to english He aded a ch

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Matzoh Balls (Added On: 2011-09-06 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

A Jewish family invited their gentile neighbors for holiday dinner.

The first course was set in front of them and the Jewish couple announced, "This is matzoh ball soup."

On seeing the 2 large matzoh balls in the soup, the Gentile man was hesitant to taste this strange looking brew. Gently, the Jewish couple pressed the Gentile man. "Just have a taste. If you don't like it, you don't have to finish it."

Finally he agrees. He digs his spoon in, first picking up a small piece of matzoh ball with some soup in the spoon, and tasting it gingerly. The usual "mmmmmmm" sound can be heard coming from somewhere deep in his chest, and he quickly finished the soup.

"That was delicious," he said. "Can you eat any other parts of the matzoh?"

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There are 85 funny Jewish jokes in this category.

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