Jewish jokes

There are 43 funny Jewish jokes in this category.

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Sign of the times (Added On: 2010-06-23 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

Miriam, an elderly lady, goes up to a man at a bus stop in Finchley in north west London.

She tugs on the sleeve of his coat and asks, "Farshtayn Yiddish?" The man answers, "Yes, Ich Farshtay."

Miriam then says, "Vot Time is It?"

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Bounced Check (Added On: 2010-06-16 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

When the doctor called Mrs. Liebenbaum to tell her that her check came back, she replied,

"So did my arthritis."

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Bed Time (Added On: 2010-05-04 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

What time do Jews tend to go to bed?

----- When the electricity is too expensive.

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Drivers (Added On: 2010-04-26 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

A young boy had just earned his driving permit. He asked his father, who was a rabbi, if they could discuss his use of the family car.

His father took him into his study and said, "I will make a deal with you. You bring your school grades up, study your Talmud a little, get your hair cut, and then we'll talk about it."

After a month, the boy came back and again asked his father if they could discuss his use of the car. They again went into the father's study where the father said, "Son, I've been very proud of you. You have brought your school grades up, you've studied the Talmud diligently, but you didn't get your hair cut."

The young man waited a moment and then replied, "You know Dad, I've been

thinking about that. You know Samson had long hair, Moses had long hair andNoah

had long hair."

The rabbi said, "Yes, and everywhere they went, they walked."

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The Watch (Added On: 2010-04-17 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

Jack has stolen the rabbi's gold watch and afterwards felt guilty about what he did.

After a sleepless night, he went to the rabbi.

"Rabbi, I stole a gold watch."

"But Jack, that's forbidden! You should return it immediately!"

"What shall I do?

"Give it back to the owner."

"Do you want it?"

"No, I said return it to its owner."

"But he doesn't want it." "

"In that case, you can keep it."

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There are 43 funny Jewish jokes in this category.

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