Jewish jokes

There are 93 funny Jewish jokes in this category.

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Tenacity (Added On: 2011-10-15 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

Q: What's the difference between a Rottweiler and a Jewish Mother? A:

Eventually, the Rottweiler lets go.

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chs (Added On: 2011-10-05 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

How did the Rabbi translate hebrew to english He aded a ch

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Matzoh Balls (Added On: 2011-09-06 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

A Jewish family invited their gentile neighbors for holiday dinner.

The first course was set in front of them and the Jewish couple announced, "This is matzoh ball soup."

On seeing the 2 large matzoh balls in the soup, the Gentile man was hesitant to taste this strange looking brew. Gently, the Jewish couple pressed the Gentile man. "Just have a taste. If you don't like it, you don't have to finish it."

Finally he agrees. He digs his spoon in, first picking up a small piece of matzoh ball with some soup in the spoon, and tasting it gingerly. The usual "mmmmmmm" sound can be heard coming from somewhere deep in his chest, and he quickly finished the soup.

"That was delicious," he said. "Can you eat any other parts of the matzoh?"

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Its great being Jewish (Added On: 2011-08-25 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

There was a Jewish gentleman sitting in Central Park one day, and his best friend Saul came up to him and asked him why he read the paper.

"You know, Esra, that paper is anti-semitic."

Esra replies, "I know, Saul, but I love hearing such good things that come out of this paper. They think Jews control Hollywood, the government, and labor and industry. It's great being a Jew!"

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Lucky Horse (Added On: 2011-08-18 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

A Rabbi is walking slowly out of a Shul in New York when a gust of wind blows his hat down the street. He is an old man with a cane and can't walk fast enough to catch his hat. Across the street a man sees what has happened and rushes over to grab the hat and returns it to the Rabbi. "I don't think I would have been able to catch my hat." the Rabbi says. "Thank you very much." The Rabbi places his hand on his shoulder and says, "May God bless you."

The young man thinks to himself, "I've been blessed by the Rabbi, this must be my lucky day!" So he goes to the racetrack and in the first race he sees there is a horse named Stetson at 20 to 1. He bets $50 and sure enough the horse comes in first. In the second race he sees a horse named Fedora at 30 to 1 so he bets it all and this horse comes in first also. Finally at the end of the day he returns home to his wife who asks him where he's been. He explains how he caught the Rabbi's hat and was blessed by him and the went to the track and started winning on horses that had a hat in their names. "So where's the money?" she says. "I lost it all in the ninth race. I bet on a horse named Chateau and it lost." "You fool!" she said, "Chateau is a house, Chapeau is a hat." "It doesn't matter," he said, "the winner was some Japanese horse named Yarmulka."

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There are 93 funny Jewish jokes in this category.

Prev 5 | Next 5