Jewish jokes

There are 40 funny Jewish jokes in this category.

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love thy neighbor? (Added On: 2010-07-08 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

one day moshe cohen goes to the rabbi to ask for advice.he says to the rabbi"rabbi,i feel very unholy

ive been very bad to other people."

"moshe"says the rabbi (for he knows him well)"the torah says to love thy neighbor like you love yourself".

"i know"says moshe"what should i do?"

so the rabbi says"go to you front window and stick out your tongue."

"gee,thanks"says moshe"will that make me holy?"

"no,"says the rabbi"but the man opposite your front

window refused to donate tzedakah to the shul"

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an pain of glass (Added On: 2010-07-03 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

an english man was on top of the rainbow with a pain of glass in front of him and a pot of gold on the end of the rainbow. the only way to get to the gold was to someway get over the glass.

he ran into the glass but smacked his head and passed out.

an leprichorn seeing this wished he could fly so he could get over the glass to the gold. doing this he flew into a bird and was knocked down.

seeing this a jewish rabbi sang a rendicion of "somewhere over the rainbow" which broke the glass and he got to the gold.

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Sign of the times (Added On: 2010-06-23 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

Miriam, an elderly lady, goes up to a man at a bus stop in Finchley in north west London.

She tugs on the sleeve of his coat and asks, "Farshtayn Yiddish?" The man answers, "Yes, Ich Farshtay."

Miriam then says, "Vot Time is It?"

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Bounced Check (Added On: 2010-06-16 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

When the doctor called Mrs. Liebenbaum to tell her that her check came back, she replied,

"So did my arthritis."

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Bed Time (Added On: 2010-05-04 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

What time do Jews tend to go to bed?

----- When the electricity is too expensive.

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There are 40 funny Jewish jokes in this category.

Prev 5 | Next 5