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Little Johnny jokes
But it itches! (Dirty Little Johnny joke) (Added On: 2010-04-05 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke) A teacher notices that Little Johnny, at the back of the class, is squirming around, scratching his crotch and not paying attention. She goes back to find out what's up. He's quite embarrassed and whispers that he has just recently been circumcised and he's quite itchy. The teacher has him go down to the principal's office to phone his mom, and ask her what he should do about it. He does this, returns to the class, sits down in his seat and suddenly, there's a general commotion at the back of the room. Back down she goes, only to find him sitting at his desk with his penis hanging out. "I thought I told you to call your mom," she says. "I did," he says, "and she told me that if I could stick it out till noon she'd come and pick me up from school." I have lost my father (Added On: 2010-02-18 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke) Five year old Little Johnny was lost, so he went up to a policeman and said, "I've lost my dad!"The policeman said, "What's he like?"Little Johnny replied, "Beer and women!" Little Johnny Gives to the Sick (Added On: 2010-02-03 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke) Little Johnny was in church with him mom forSunday Mass when he suddenly felt nauseous."Mom, I think I'm going to throw up!"She told him, "I want you to run outside as fast as you can. Run across the lawn and go behind the bushes. You can throw up behind the bushes and nobody will see you."So Little Johnny hauled ass for the door. Less than a minute later, he returned to his seat next to his mom. He had the look of obvious relief on his young face."Did you make it all the way to the bushes, Johnny?""I didn't have to go that far, mom. Just as I got to the front door, I found a box that had a sign on it: FOR THE SICK.'' Ride em, cowboy! (Added On: 2009-08-27 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke) Little Johnny is passing his parents' bedroom in the middle of the night, Johnnys First Job (Added On: 2009-07-18 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke) Little Johnny applied for a salesman's job at a big department store. In fact it was the biggest store in the world - you could get anything there. The boss asked him, 'Have you ever been a salesman before?' 'No, this is my first job,' said the lad, but the boss liked the cut of him and said, 'You can start tomorrow and I'll come and see you when we close up.' The day was long and arduous for the young man, but finally 5 o'clock came around. The boss duly fronted up and asked, 'How many sales did you make today?' 'One,' said the young salesman. 'Only one?' blurted the boss, 'Most of my staff make 20 or 30 sales a day. How much was the sale worth??' 'Three hundred thousand, three hundred and thirty four dollars.' said Little Johnny. 'How did you manage that?' asked the flabbergasted boss. 'Well,' said Little Johnny, 'this man came in and I sold him a small fish hook, then a medium hook and finally a really large hook. Then I sold him a small fishing line, a medium one and a huge big one. I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down the coast. I said he would probably need a boat, so I took him down to the boat department and sold him that twenty foot schooner with the twin engines. Then he said his Volkswagen probably wouldn't be able to pull it, so I took him to the car department and sold him the new Deluxe Cruiser.' The boss took two steps back and asked in astonishment, 'You sold all that to a guy who came in for a fish hook?' 'No.' answered Little Johnny, 'He came in to buy a box of Tampons for his wife so I said to him, 'Well, your weekend's screwed - you might as well go fishing.' '
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