Little Johnny jokes

There are 24 funny Little Johnny jokes in this category.

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Johnny (Added On: 2011-08-19 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

Little Johnny is working at the lumberyard, pushing a tree through the buzz saw, and accidentally shears off all ten of his fingers. He goes to theemergency room. The doctor says, "Yuck! Well, give me the fingers, and I'll see what I can do." Little Johnny says, "I haven't got the fingers." The doctor says, "What do you mean, you haven't got the fingers? It's 2003. We've got microsurgery and all kinds of incredible techniques. I couldhave put them back on and made you like new. Why didn't you bring the fingers?" Furious, Johnny asks, "How the hell was I supposed to pick them up???"

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Five Birds (Added On: 2011-08-08 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on little Johnny. He replies, "None, they all fly away with the first gun shot" The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking." Then, Little Johnny says "I have a question for YOU. There are three women sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married?" The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied "Well I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone" To which Little Johnny replied, "The correct answer is the one with the wedding ring on, but I like your thinking.

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Your an 8 (Added On: 2011-05-14 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

Little Johnny was sitting in class one day. All of a sudden, he needed to go to the toilet. He yelled out, 'Miss Jones, I need to have a piss!' Miss Jones replied, 'Now Johnny, that is not the proper word to use in this situation. The correct word you want to use is urinate. Please use the word urinate in a sentence correctly and I will allow you to go.'Little Johnny thinks for a bit, then says, 'You're an eight, but if you had bigger tits, you'd be a 10.'

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My dad earns more than yours does! (Added On: 2011-05-10 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

Three boys are in the school yard bragging about their fathers.

The first boy says, "My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, they give him $50."

The second boy says, "That's nothing. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a song, they give him $100."

Little Johnny says, "I got you both beat. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a sermon.and it takes eight people to collect all the money!"

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Turned to stone (Added On: 2011-04-18 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

Three boys are playing outside just after dark, when one of them noticed a light on in a window. Billy says to Johnnie and Joey: "Let's take a peek!" They look in the window and see a pretty woman undressing. Suddenly, Johnnie runs away and the other boys can't find him. The next day, Billy and Joey see Johnnie and ask: "Why'd you run away, you some kind of faggot or something?"Johnnie replies: "No...My mother told me that if I ever do anything naughty, say anything naughty or even LOOK at anything naughty, God would turn me into stone. Well, when I looked in that window I started to get hard, so I ran away!"

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There are 24 funny Little Johnny jokes in this category.

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