Love and marriage jokes

There are 44 funny Love and marriage jokes in this category.

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Hard To Remember Things (Added On: 2010-07-30 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

Harvey and Sara -- an elderly married couple -- have trouble remembering things, so they write everything down. One night in bed, Sara gets a craving and wakes up her husband.

'Get up and bring me some apple pie and ice cream, Harvey,' Sara says. 'And you better write it down.'

'I think I can remember that,' Harvey mumbles as he heads for the kitchen.

Twenty minutes later, Harvey returns with a plate of scrambled eggs and sausage.

'What's this?' Sara asks.

'It's what you asked for!' Harvey says.

'See, I told you to write it down,' Sara says. 'You forgot my toast.'

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A quote on marriage (Added On: 2010-07-26 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

Diplomat: A man who can convince his wife she would look stout in a fur coat.

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Elderly Gentleman Gets Hearing Back (Added On: 2010-07-21 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years.

He finally went to a doctor, and was fitted with excellent new hearing aids.

He returned a month later for a checkup, and the doctor said, "Your hearing is perfect! Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again."

The gentleman replied, "Oh, I haven't told my family just yet. I still sit around quietly; but, now I listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times already.

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A quote on marriage (Added On: 2010-07-08 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

And I shall love thee still my dear, Until my wife is wise.

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Late Night Phone Call (Added On: 2010-06-27 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

A husband and his wife were sound asleep when suddenly the phone rang.

The husband picked up the phone and said, 'Hello? How the heck do I know? What do I look like, a weatherman?' He then slammed the phone down and settled into bed.

'Who was that?' asked his wife.

'I don't know. It was some guy who wanted to know if the coast was clear.'

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There are 44 funny Love and marriage jokes in this category.

Prev 5 | Next 5