Love and marriage jokes

There are 47 funny Love and marriage jokes in this category.

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Little Argument (Added On: 2010-08-30 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

A man and a woman drove along in silence -- the quiet part of a nasty argument. Their country drive took them past a farm with a pigpen full of pigs wallowing in the mud.

"Relatives of yours?" she asked sarcastically.

"Yep -- those are my in-laws," he replied.

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Firm This Up (Added On: 2010-08-27 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

This guy decides he's going to play a little joke on his wife one day. As she steps out of the shower, he grabs one of her breasts and says, "If you firmed these up a bit, you wouldn't have to keep using your bra." He laughs and laughs. The next morning, he again catches her as she finishes her shower and grabs her ass and says "If you firmed this up a bit, you wouldn't have to keep using your girdle." Again he laughs and laughs, while his wife plots her revenge. The next morning as he steps out of the shower, his wife grabbed his penis and says, "If you firmed THIS up a bit, I wouldn't need to keep sleeping with your brother."

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poker and sex (Added On: 2010-08-20 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

Once you're married, sex is like poker. You don't need a good partner, just a good hand.

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Hard To Remember Things (Added On: 2010-07-30 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

Harvey and Sara -- an elderly married couple -- have trouble remembering things, so they write everything down. One night in bed, Sara gets a craving and wakes up her husband.

'Get up and bring me some apple pie and ice cream, Harvey,' Sara says. 'And you better write it down.'

'I think I can remember that,' Harvey mumbles as he heads for the kitchen.

Twenty minutes later, Harvey returns with a plate of scrambled eggs and sausage.

'What's this?' Sara asks.

'It's what you asked for!' Harvey says.

'See, I told you to write it down,' Sara says. 'You forgot my toast.'

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A quote on marriage (Added On: 2010-07-26 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

Diplomat: A man who can convince his wife she would look stout in a fur coat.

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There are 47 funny Love and marriage jokes in this category.

Prev 5 | Next 5