Medical jokes

I have good news and bad news (Added On: 2009-10-06 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

Patient: I'm in a hospital! Why am I in here?Doctor: You've had an accident involving a bus.Patient: What happened?Doctor: Well, I've got some good news and some bad news. Which would you like to hear first?Patient: Give me the bad news first.Doctor: Your legs were injured so badly that we had to amputate both of them.Patient: That's terrible! What's the good news?Doctor: There's a guy in the next ward who made a very good offer on your slippers.

Doctor, should I file my nails? (Added On: 2009-03-09 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

Patient: Doctor, should I file my nails?Doctor: No! Throw them away like everybody else.

Does it hurt when you do this? (Added On: 2009-02-26 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

Doctor: Does it hurt when you do this?Patient: Yes.Doctor: Well, don't do that.