Military jokes

There are 20 funny Military jokes in this category.

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Top Ten Ways to Tell Someone Their Fly is Unzipped... (Added On: 2010-08-18 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

1. The cucumber has left the salad.2. Someone tore down the wall, and your Pink Floyd is hanging out.3. Your soldier ain't so unknown now.4. Quasimodo needs to go back in the tower and tend to his bells.5. Elvis Junior has LEFT the building!6. Mini Me is making a break for the escape pod.7. You've got your fly set for "Monica" instead of "Hillary".8. You've got a security breach at Los Pantalones.9. I'm talking about Shaft, can you dig it?10. Men are From Mars, women can see Your Penis

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Navy Joke (off. to British) (Added On: 2010-06-20 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

The British Navy was sailing along when the First Mate ran up to the Admiral.

He said "Sir, their are eight Spanish ships heading for us."

The Admiral told the First Mate to go get his red dress suit for him. The First Mate asked "Why?".

The Admiral said "So if I get shot, the men won't see the blood and will keep on fighting."

The First Mate ran off to get the suit but came back quickly.

"Sir, there are another eighty Spanish ships running us down from the opposite direction!"

The Admiral exclaimed, "Run and fetch me my brown pants, quickly!"

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Dont mess with Texas (Added On: 2010-06-17 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

A large group of Taliban soldiers are moving down a road when they hear a voice call from behind a sand-dune. "One Texas soldier is better than ten taliban".

The Taliban commander quickly sends 10 of his best soldiers over the dune whereupon a gun-battle breaks out and continues for a few minutes, then silence.

The voice then calls out "One Texan is better than one hundred taliban".

Furious, the Taliban commander sends his next best 100 troops over the dune and instantly a huge gunfight commences. After 10 minutes of battle, again silence.

The Texan voice calls out again "One Texan is better than one thousand taliban".

The enraged Taliban Commander musters one thousand fighters and sends them across the dune. Cannon, rocket and machine gun fire ring out as a huge battle is fought. Then silence.

Eventually one wounded Taliban fighter crawls back over the dune and with his dying words tells his commander, "Don't send any more men, its a trap. There's actually two of them."

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Blonde inventions (Added On: 2010-06-05 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

The water-proof towel
Glow in the dark sunglasses
Solar powered flashlights
Submarine screen doors
A book on how to read
Inflatable dart boards
A dictionary index
Mechanical Pencil sharpeners
Powdered water
Pedal-powered wheel chairs
Waterproof tea bags
The helicopter ejector seat

A child of five could understand this. Fetch me a child of five.-- Groucho Marx

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Planet of the Apes: Secrets Revealed (Added On: 2010-06-03 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

* Silicon-enhanced chests and lips reveal that humans are not only "as innovative as they are cruel," but pretty vain as well.* Wahlberg's neglect in removing his shirt through the entire film reveals his kinship with the teen demographic: BACKNE SUFFERERS.* Fox Marketing Department determined that the ideal garment for a young ape's human pet is a peach-colored dress.* All inflamed baboon buttocks in the film were edited out.* Most extras were actually disgruntled gorillas out of work since the movie "Congo." * Kris Kristofferson's surly acting style is a result of the neverending pain of "Millenium"s failure at the box office. * The imagery of the Ape armys red tents taken straight from biblical writings dealing with how women were separated from the tribe during their periods. (Charlton Hestons idea.)* Helena Bonham Carter's clothing came under-budget through some seamstress' creativity and Rue McClanahan's wardrobe. Her wildly trendy haircut however, accounted for %15 of the films budget.* According to ape acting union, the "Ape" Lincoln Memorial had to be scrubbed down with monkey feces in order to get rid of foul human odor. Submitted by: David J. Bleecker E-mail: DBLEEKER@nyc.rr.com

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There are 20 funny Military jokes in this category.

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