Military jokes

There are 19 funny Military jokes in this category.

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Giving sad news to a troop (Added On: 2009-12-31 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

The Captain called the Sergeant in. "Sarge, I just got a telegram that Private Jones' mother died yesterday. Better go tell him and send him in to see me." So the Sergeant calls for his morning formation and lines up all the troops. "Listen up, men," says the Sergeant. "Johnson, report to the mess hall for KP. Smith, report to Personnel to sign some papers. The rest of you men report to the Motor Pool for maintenance. Oh by the way, Jones, your mother died, report to the commander." Later that day the Captain called the Sergeant into his office. "Hey, Sarge, that was a pretty cold way to inform Jones his mother died. Couldn't you be a bit more tactful, next time?" "Yes, sir," answered the Sarge. A few months later, the Captain called the Sergeant in again with, "Sarge, I just got a telegram that Private McGrath's mother died. You'd better go tell him and send him in to see me. This time be more tactful." So the Sergeant calls for his morning formation. "Ok, men, fall in and listen up." "Everybody with a mother, take two steps forward." "Not so fast, McGrath!"

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Husband and Wife (Added On: 2009-12-05 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

Because the husband had just gotten home from a six-month tour of duty,
the husband and wife were furiously making love when, all of a sudden,
the wind slammed a door shut somewhere else in the house.

The husband says, "Oh no! That must be your husband coming home."

And the wife replies, "No. He's off in the Navy for six months."

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Short Belgian jokes - Paratrooper and ... (Added On: 2009-12-04 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

An American paratrooper jumped out of a plain. But his parachute did not open. Falling to the ground he saw a black dot moving towards him. He didn't know what it was, until he recognized a man.

'Hello' he shouted 'I'm Jim, US Army. Do you know anything about parachutes ?'

'Nice to meet you' the man replied 'I'm Sjefke (Belgian). But sorry, I don't know anything about parachutes. Do you know anything about gas ovens?'

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More soviet jokes (Added On: 2009-12-03 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

Czech walks into police station in 1968 during the Fraternal
Assistance.

Czech: Hey, out there in the street, a Swiss soldier knocked
me down and took my Russian watch.

Desk Sergeant: Come again?

Czech: Are you deaf? Out there in the street, a Swiss soldier
knocked me down and took my Russian watch.

Desk Sergeant: You're confused. It was a Russian soldier who
knocked you down and took your Swiss watch.

Czech: Well, maybe, but you said it, not me.

Henry Cate III

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Farmboy in the army (Added On: 2009-09-23 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

A farm boy was drafted. On his first furlough, his Father asked him what he thought of Army life.

"It's pretty good Dad. The food's not bad, the work's easy but best of all, they let ya sleep real late in the morning."

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There are 19 funny Military jokes in this category.

Prev 5 | Next 5