Office jokes

There are 13 funny Office jokes in this category.

Prev 5 | Next 3

Evaluating employees (Added On: 2011-07-26 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

RE: Quotes Taken from actual performance evaluations: "Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and has started to dig." "His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity." "I would not allow this employee to breed." "This associate is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definitely won't be." "Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap." "When she opens her mouth, it seems that this is only to change whichever foot was previously in there." "He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle." "This young lady has delusions of adequacy." "He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them." "This employee should go far - and the sooner he starts, the better." "This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot."

---

Pay for your past bills (Added On: 2010-12-01 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

A customer sent an order to a distributor for a large amount of goods totaling a great deal of money. The distributor noticed that the previous bill hadn't been paid. The collections manager left a voice-mail for them saying, "We can't ship your new order until you pay for the last one." The next day the collections manager received a collect phone call, "Please cancel the order. We can't wait that long."

---

Boss wants too much (Added On: 2010-11-09 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

For thirty years, Johnson had arrived at work at 9A.M. on the dot. He had never missed a day and was never late. Consequently, when on one particular day 9 A.M. passed without Johnson's arrival, it caused a sensation. All work ceased, and the boss himself, looking at his watch and muttering, came out into the corridor. Finally, precisely at ten, Johnson showed up, clothes dusty and torn, his face scratched and bruised, his glasses bent. He limped painfully to the time clock, punched in, and said, aware that all eyes were upon him, "I tripped and rolled down two flights of stairs in the subway. Nearly killed myself." And the boss said, "And to roll down two flights of stairs took you a whole hour?"

---

Never say it at work (Added On: 2010-09-02 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

THINGS YOU'LL NEVER HEAR AN EMPLOYEE TELL HIS/HER BOSS10. Never introduce me to the people you're with. When you refer to them later, my shrewd deductions will identify them. 11. Be nice to me only when the job I'm doing for you could really change your life. 12. Tell me all your little problems. No one else has any and it's nice to know someone is less fortunate.

---

Sleeping on the job (Added On: 2010-06-25 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

Things To Say If You Get Caught Sleeping At Your Desk 6. "The coffee machine is broken...." 5. "Someone must've put decaf in the wrong pot." 4. "Boy, that cold medicine I took last night just won't wear off!"

---

There are 13 funny Office jokes in this category.

Prev 5 | Next 3