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Police jokes
Policemen in Heaven (Added On: 2010-10-15 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke) St Peter is standing at heaven's gate when a man walks up."Welcome to heaven my son. What did you do with your life?""I was a policeman," he responded."What kind of policeman?" St Peter asked."I was a vice officer. I kept dangerous narcotics out of the hands of kids.""Wonderful my son, welcome to heaven. Pass through the gates."A few moments later a second man walks up."Welcome to heaven my son. What did you do with your life?""I was a policeman," he responded."What kind of policeman?" St Peter asked."I was a traffic officer. I kept the roads and highways safe for travelers.""Well done. Pass through the gates into paradise."A few moments later a third man walks up."Welcome to heaven my son. What did you do with your life?""I was a policeman," he responded."What kind of policeman?" St Peter asked."I was a Military Policeman, Sir.""Excellent my son, I have to leave for a bit, watch the gate will you?" Cop and prostitute (Added On: 2010-07-09 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke) A policeman arrested a prostitute, and the following conversation occurred. Girl: I'm not selling sex! Officer: Then what are you doing? Girl: I'm selling condoms and offering a free demonstration! Inspecting the truck (Added On: 2010-05-02 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke) A young man was walking into town one day when a wood hauler gave him a ride.After traveling about a mile or two, the truck was stopped by the highway patrol for a weight check and inspection.The truck inspection revealed the truck had slick tires; no horn; no head, tail or signal lights; no windshield wipers. Also, it was overloaded and had bad brakes."Mister," the patrolman said to the driver, "I think the best way to charge you is 'hauling wood without a truck.'" Youre back again? (Added On: 2010-03-20 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke) The Judge said to the defendant. "I thought I told you I never wanted to see you in here again.""Your Honor," the criminal said, "that's what I tried to tell the police, but they wouldn't listen." Lawyers are greedy (Added On: 2009-08-20 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke) A lawyer opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely.When the police arrived at the scene, the lawyer was complaining bitterly about the damage to his precious BMW."Officer, look what they've done to my Beeeeemer!!!", he whined."You lawyers are so materialistic, you make me sick!!!", retorted the officer. "You're so worried about your stupid BMW, that you didn't even notice that your left arm was ripped off!""Oh no!", replied the lawyer, finally noticing the bloody left shoulder where his arm once was."Where's my Rolex???!!!"
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