|
Redneck jokes
You Might Be A Redneck If... Halloween (Added On: 2012-01-01 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke) You might be a redneck if the Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse! Safe sex (Added On: 2011-12-22 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke) A pretty woman is driving down a country road in her new sports car when the car breaks down. Luckily, she happens to be near a farmhouse. She goes up to the farmhouse and knocks on the door. When the farmer answers, she says to him, "Oh, it's Sunday night and my car broke down! Can I stay here for the night until tomorrow when I can get some help?""Well," drawls the farmer, "you can stay here, but I don't want you messin' with my sons Jed and Luke."She looks through the screen door and sees two young men standing behind the farmer. She judges them to be in the early twenties. "Okay," she says.After they have gone to bed for the night the woman begins to get a little horny just thinking about the two boys in the room next to her. So she quietly goes into their room and says, "Boys, how would you like for me to teach you the ways of the world?"They say, "Huh?"She says, "The only thing is, I don't want to get pregnant, so you have to wear these rubbers." She puts them on the boys, and the three of them go at it all night long.Forty years later Jed and Luke are sitting on the front porch, rocking back and forth. Jed says, "Luke?"Luke says, "Yeah, Jed?"Jed says, "You remember that woman that came by here about forty years ago and showed us the ways of the world?""Yeah," says Luke, "I remember.""Well, do you care if she gets pregnant?" asks Jed."Nope," says Luke, "I reckon not.""Me, neither," says Jed, "Let's take these things off." Red Neck Phone Company (Added On: 2011-12-20 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke) Q: What does a red neck call the phone company? Redneck quickies 36 (Added On: 2011-12-16 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke) You might be a redneck if...You see a sign that says "bridge out" and you try to jump it. You go to your local pet shop for a cat scan. Warp drive describes the condition of your car. Your smoke detector doubles as your dinner bell. You go to the dentist for a "Tooth Cleaning". You pull up to a gas station in a limo to buy a can of Skoal. Your boyfriend gives you car parts for your birthday and you like it. Coons get into everyone else's trash but yours. When you say, "Let's hit the hay," you actually MEAN it. You can feed a family of five on ONE McDonald's Extra Value Meal. Your kids LIKE the Arch Deluxe hamburger at McDonalds. You have a clawfoot bathtub.You've ever been arrested for bootleggin'. You spell out NASCAR in Christmas lights. Your idea of good fishing involves the use of a boat, a net and dynamite. Burger King won't let you do it your way, right away. You can remember the entire NASCAR series schedule but can't remember your wife’s birthday, kids birthday, or anniversary. You can remember every NASCAR driver and their car number but can't remember how old your children are.Your idea of going to see a play involves goal posts. You think a computer hacker carries an axe. You might be a redneck if... (Added On: 2011-12-14 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke) You might be a redneck if...
|
|||||
| © Copyright 2009 Lavee LLC. All rights reserved. Disclaimer Read our Privacy Policy | |||||