Religious jokes

There are 56 funny Religious jokes in this category.

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The old farmer was talking (Added On: 2010-09-02 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

The old farmer was talking to his neighbor after Sunday school
and said:

"I didn't realize how bored God is with baseball.
After all the preacher said, 'In the Big Inning,
God created the heavens and the earth...'"

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Army Of The Lord (Added On: 2010-08-26 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

A friend was in front of me coming out of church one day and the preacher was standing at the door as he always is, to shake hands. He grabbed my friend by the hand and pulled him aside.The Pastor said to him, "You need to join the Army of the Lord!"My friend replied, "I'm already in the Army of the Lord, Pastor."Pastor questioned, "How come I don't see you except at Christmas and Easter?"He whispered back, "I'm in the secret service."

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Just before Rosh Hashana, a (Added On: 2010-08-18 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

Just before Rosh Hashana, a team of terrorists invades the shul and takes
the rabbi, the cantor and the shul president hostage. Hours later, the
governor stands tough, he won't give them a million dollars, nor a getaway
car nor a Jumbo Jet.

The terrorists gather the three hostages in a corner and inform them that
things look bad and they're going to have to shoot them. Nevertheless, to
show that they're not really a bad bunch, they'll grant each hostage one
wish.

"Please," says the rabbi, "for the last two months I've been working on my
Rosh Hashana Sermon. What a waste to die now without having carried it
before an audience. I'll go happilly if you let me recite my sermon. It's
an hour - ninety minutes long, tops."

They promise to grant him the wish.

"Please," says the cantor, "after 50 years I've finally gotten the
'Hinneni' prayer just right. What a waste to die and not sing it to an
audience. It's only about 45 minutes long - then I'll go happily."

The terrorists promise to grant the cantor his wish too and they turn to
the shul president.

"Please," says the president with tears in his eyes, "Shoot me first!"

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Im Done For (Added On: 2010-07-20 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

An explorer in the deepest Amazon suddenly finds himself surrounded by a bloodthirsty group of natives. Upon surveying his situation, he says quietly to himself, "I'm done for." There is a ray of light from the sky and a voice booms out: "No you're NOT! Pick up that stone in front of you and hit the chief on the head!" So the explorer picks up the stone and proceeds to kill the chief. He is breathing heavily while standing above the lifeless body. Surrounding him are the 100 native warriors with a look of shock on their faces. The voice booms out again: "Okay... NOW you're done for!"

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Whats an atheists favorite Christmas (Added On: 2010-07-02 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

What's an atheist's favorite Christmas movie?

"Coincidence on 34th Street"

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There are 56 funny Religious jokes in this category.

Prev 5 | Next 5