Religious jokes

There are 53 funny Religious jokes in this category.

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Easter Joke (Added On: 2010-06-01 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

Heard from a friend...

Three stupid guys just died and are at the pearly gates of heaven.
St. Peter tells them that they can enter the gates if they can answer
one simple question.

St. Peter asks the first man, "WHAT IS EASTER?"

The man replies, "Oh, that's easy, it's the holiday in November when everybody
gets together, eats turkey, and is thankful..."

"WRONG," replies St. Peter, and proceeds to ask the second man the same
question, "WHAT IS EASTER?"

The second man replies, "No, Easter is the holiday in December when we put up
a nice tree, exchange presents, and celebrate the birth of Jesus."

St. Peter looks at the second man, shakes his head in disgust, looks at the
third man and asks, "WHAT IS EASTER?"

The third man smiles and looks St. Pete in the eye.

"I know what Easter is. Easter is the Christian holiday that coincides with
the Jewish celebration of Passover. Jesus and his disciples were eating at
the last supper and He was later deceived and turned over to the Romans by one
of his disciples. The Romans took Him to be crucified and was stabbed in the
side, made Him wear a crown of thorns, and He was hung on a cross. He was
buried in a nearby cave which was sealed off by a large boulder. Every year the
boulder is moved aside so that Jesus can come out, and if He sees his shadow
there will be six more weeks of winter."

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Jonahs Fate (Added On: 2010-05-25 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

A little girl spoke to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it is a very large mammal, its throat is very small. The little girl said, "But how can that be? Jonah was swallowed by a whale." Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human. "It is physically impossible!" she said. Undaunted, the little girl said, "Well, when I get to heaven I will ask Jonah." To this, the teacher said, "What if Jonah went to hell?" The little girl replied, "Then YOU ask him!"

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Fannie Green (Added On: 2010-05-21 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

A man enters the confessional and says to the Irish Priest, "Father, it has been one month since my last confession. I have had sex with Fannie Green every week for the last month."The priest tells the sinner "You are forgiven. Go out and say 3 Hail Marys."Soon, another man enters the confessional. "Father, it has been two months since my last confession. I have had sex with Fannie Green twice a week for the last two months."This time the priest asks, "Who is Fannie Green?""A new woman in the neighbourhood," the sinner replies. Very well, says the priest. Go and say 10 Hail Mary's. The next morning in church, the priest is preparing to deliver his sermon when, suddenly a gorgeous, tall woman enters the church. All the men's eyes fall upon her, as she slowly sashays up the aisle and sits down in front of the altar. Her dress is green and very short, with matching shiny emerald green shoes. The priest and altar boy gasp, as the woman sits in with her legs slightly spread apart.The priest turns to the altar boy and asks, "Is that Fannie Green?"The altar boy, whose eyes are popping out of his head, replies "No Father, I think its just the reflection from her shoes."

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Funny joke (Added On: 2010-05-19 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

An Amish boy was driving his horse-drawn buggy to town when he was stopped by a highway patrol officer.

"I'm not going to cite you," said the officer, "I just wanted to warn you that the reflector on the back of your buggy is broken and it could be dangerous."

"I thank thee," said the Amish boy, "I shall have my father repair it as soon as I return home."

"Also," said the officer, "I noticed that one of the reins to your horse is tied around your horse's testicles. Some might consider this to be 'cruelty to animals' so you'd best have your father check this, too."

"Again I thank thee," said the Amish boy, "I shall have my father check this also when I return home."

True to his word, when the Amish boy got home he told his father about the broken reflector and his father said that he would repair it immediately.

"Also," said the Amish boy, "the policeman said that there was something wrong with our emergency brake."

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A woman was trying hard (Added On: 2010-05-14 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

A woman was trying hard to get the catsup to come out of the bottle. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her four-year-old daughter to answer the phone. "It's the minister, Mommy," the child said to her mother. She added to the priest, "Mommy can't come to the phone right now. She's hitting the bottle."

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There are 53 funny Religious jokes in this category.

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