School jokes

There are 17 funny School jokes in this category.

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Ways to confuse a roommate (Added On: 2010-03-06 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

These are intended for entertainment purposes only. We do not advise that you ever do these things to a roommate or yourself.26. Write your roommate's name in big print on hundreds of pages of paper. Leave pages all over the room. If he asks about it, say you didn't write it.

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Freshmen versus seniors (Added On: 2010-01-02 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

Freshman: Is never in bed past noon.Senior: Is never out of bed before noon.Freshman: Reads the syllabus to find out what classes he can cut.Senior: Reads the syllabus to find out what classes he needs to attend.Freshman: Brings a can of soda into a lecture hall.Senior: Brings a jumbo hoagie and six-pack of Mountain Dew into a recitation class.Freshman: Calls the professor "Teacher."Senior: Calls the professor "Bob."Freshman: Would walk ten miles to get to class.Senior: Drives to class if it's more than three blocks away.Freshman: Memorizes the course material to get a good grade.Senior: Memorizes the professor's habits to get a good grade.Freshman: Knows a book-full of useless trivia about the university.Senior: Knows where the next class is. Usually.Freshman: Shows up at a morning exam clean, perky, and fed.Senior: Shows up at a morning exam in sweats with a cap on and a box of pop tarts in hand.Freshman: Has to ask where the computer labs are.Senior: Has own personal workstation.Freshman: Lines up for an hour to buy his textbooks in the first week.Senior: Starts to think about buying textbooks in October... maybe.Freshman: Looks forward to first classes of the year.Senior: Looks forward to first beer garden of the year.Freshman: Is proud of his A+ on Calculus I midtermSenior: Is proud of not quite failing his Complex Analysis midtermFreshman: Calls his girlfriend back home every other nightSenior: Calls Domino's every other nightFreshman: Is appalled at the class size and callousness of professorsSenior: Is appalled that the campus 'Subway' burned down over the summerFreshman: Conscientiously completes all homework, including optional questionsSenior: Homework? I knew I forgot to do something last nightFreshman: Goes on grocery-shopping trip with Mom before moving onto campusSenior: Has a beer with Mom before moving into group houseFreshman: Is excited about the world of possibilities that awaits him, the unlimited vista of educational opportunities, the chance to expand one's horizons and really make a contribution to societySenior: Is excited about new dryers in laundry roomFreshman: Takes meticulous four-color notes in classSenior: Occasionally stays awake for all of class

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Ways to add confusion to dining halls (Added On: 2009-11-22 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

by Robert ChenYou should not attempt any these things. The following is meant for entertainment purposes only.21. When they're not looking, empty your bladder into an empty glass. Show contents to everyone and say, "This apple juice tastes funny. Here. Try some."22. Every time someone takes a bite of their food, laugh uncontrollably. Stop suddenly and warn everyone not to laugh. Then take a bite of yours while giving everyone an evil eye.23. Get a friend. Practice weightlifting tables. If people complain, weightlift them.24. Get some clean plates and empty glasses. Sit down and stare them down.25. During the meal, yell out, "Oh my gosh! It's still alive!" Grab your knife and start hacking at the meat.26. Dress in clothes with lots of pockets. When you're in the dining hall, stuff them with all the food you can find. Waddle out of the dining hall, but on the way out, remark how the dining hall never has enough food.27. Practice singing.28. Randomly stop people from eating and try to convince them that their food is poisoned.29. Bring insects and small rodents. Release.30. Dress in a toga. After getting your food, find a comfortable place to recline. Throw your utensils on the floor and start eating Romanically. Explain how you never should have trusted that Brutus guy.

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Ways to confuse a roommate (Added On: 2009-11-15 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

These are intended for entertainment purposes only. We do not advise that you ever do these things to a roommate or yourself.145. Leave memos on your roommate's bed that say things like, "I know what you did," and "Don't think you can fool me."

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Ways to confuse a roommate (Added On: 2009-08-18 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

These are intended for entertainment purposes only. We do not advise that you ever do these things to a roommate or yourself.22. Eat only lemons. Every five minutes, offer your roommate a lemon.

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There are 17 funny School jokes in this category.

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