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School jokes
The homework schedule (Added On: 2011-11-17 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke) Here is an explanation of the school homework policy for the average student. Students should not spend more than ninety minutes per night. This time should be budgeted in the following manner if the student desires to achieve moderate to good grades in his/her classes.15 minutes looking for assignment.11 minutes calling a friend for the assignment.23 minutes explaining why the teacher is mean and just does not like children.8 minutes in the bathroom.10 minutes getting a snack.7 minutes checking the TV Guide.6 minutes telling parents that the teacher never explained the assignment.10 minutes sitting at the kitchen table waiting for Mom or Dad to do the assignment. MIT course evaluation results (Added On: 2011-10-19 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke) These are actual student evaulation comments taken from an MIT course evaluation guide in the fall semester of 1991."This class was a religious experience for me... I had to take it all on faith." "Text makes a satisfying `thud' when dropped on the floor." "The class is worthwhile because I need it for the degree." "His blackboard technique puts Rembrandt to shame." "Textbook is confusing... Someone with a knowledge of English should proofread it." "Have you ever fell asleep in class and awoke in another? That's the way I felt all term." "In class I learn I can fudge answers and get away with it." "Keep lecturer or tenure board will be shot." "The recitation instructor would make a good parking lot attendant. Tries to tell you where to go, but you can never understand him." "Text is useless. I use it to kill roaches in my room." "In class the syllabus is more important than you are." "I am convinced that you can learn by osmosis by just sitting in his class." "Help! I've fallen asleep and I can't wake up!" "Problem sets are a decoy to lure you away from potential exam material." "Recitation was great. It was so confusing that I forgot who I was, where I was, and what I was doing -- it's a great stress reliever." "He is one of the best teachers I have had... He is well-organized, presents good lectures, and creates interest in the subject. I hope my comments don't hurt his chances of getting tenure." "I would sit in class and stare out the window at the squirrels. They've got a cool nest in the tree." "He teaches like Speedy Gonzalez on a caffeine high." "This course kept me out of trouble from 2-4:30 on Tuesdays and Thursdays." "Most of us spent the 1st 3 weeks terrified of the class. Then solidarity kicked in." "Bogus number crunching. My HP is exhausted." "The absolute value of the TA was less than epsilon." "TA steadily improved throughout the course... I think he started drinking and it really loosened him up." "Information was presented like a ruptured fire hose -- spraying in all directions -- no way to stop it." "I never bought the text. My $60 was better spent on the Led Zeppelin tapes that I used more while doing the problem sets that I would have used the text." "What's the quality of the text? `Text is printed on high quality paper.'" Ways to confuse a roommate (Added On: 2011-10-16 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke) These are intended for entertainment purposes only. We do not advise that you ever do these things to a roommate or yourself.13. Spend all your money on Transformers. Play with them at night. If your roommate says anything, tell him/her with a straight face, "They're more than meets the eye." You might be a college student if . . . (Added On: 2011-10-07 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke) 5. If you have a fine collection of domestic beer bottles. Ways to confuse a roommate (Added On: 2011-10-06 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke) These are intended for entertainment purposes only. We do not advise that you ever do these things to a roommate or yourself.50. Open your window shades before you go to sleep each night. Close them as soon as you wake up.
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