Science jokes

There are 12 funny Science jokes in this category.

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Jokes of science 01 (Added On: 2012-01-20 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

At the physics exam: 'Describe the universe in 200 words and give three examples.' Q: What do physicists enjoy doing the most at baseball games?A: The 'wave'.The Stanford Linear Accelerator Center was known as SLAC, until the big earthquake, when it became known as SPLAC. SPLAC? Stanford Piecewise Linear Accelerator.A student recognizes Einstein in a train and asks: Excuse me, professor, but does New York stop by this train? Researchers in Fairbanks Alaska announced last week that they have discovered a superconductor which will operate at room temperature. The answer to the problem was "log(1+x)". A student copied the answer from the good student next to him, but didn't want to make it obvious that he was cheating, so he changed the answer slightly, to "timber(1+x)" One day in class, Richard Feynman was talking about angular momentum. He described rotation matrices and mentioned that they did not commute. He said that Sir William Hamilton discovered noncommutivity one night when he was taking a walk in his garden with Lady Hamilton. As they sat down on a bench, there was a moment of passion. It was then that he discovered that AB did not equal BA. Why did the chicken cross the road? Albert Einstein: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road crossed the chicken depends on your frame of reference.

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A man and his wife (Added On: 2011-12-19 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

Florence Flask was ... dressing for the opera when she turned to her husband and screamed, "Erlenmeyer! My joules! Someone has stolen my joules!""Now, now, my dear," replied her husband, "keep your balance and reflux a moment. Perhaps they're mislead.""No, I know they're stolen," cried Florence. "I remember putting them in my burette ... We must call a copper."Erlenmeyer did so, and the flatfoot who turned up, one Sherlock Ohms, said the outrage looked like the work of an arch-criminal by the name of Lawrence Ium."We must be careful -- he's a free radical, ultraviolet, and dangerous. His girlfriend is a chlorine at the Palladium. Maybe I can catch him there." With that, he jumped on his carbon cycle in an activated state and sped off along the reaction pathway ...-- Daniel B. Murphy, "Precipitations"

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Chem one-liners 01 (Added On: 2011-07-10 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

Organic chemistry is the chemistry of carbon compounds. Biochemistry is the study of carbon compounds that crawl. -- Mike AdamsChemicals: Noxious substances from which modern foods are made.Remember, if you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate!There is the joke about the homeopath who forgot to take his medicine and died of an overdose.How many physical chemists does it take to wash a beaker? None. That's what organic chemists are for!It is disconcerting to reflect on the number of students we have flunked in chemistry for not knowing what we later found to be untrue. --quoted in Robert L. Weber, Science With a Smile (1992)Physical Chemistry is research on everything for which the negative logaritm is linear with 1/T -- D.L. BunkerQ: What weapon can you make from the Chemicals Potassium, Nickel and Iron?A: KNiFe.

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The Cesium song 06 (Added On: 2011-06-09 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

Why Don't We Mix Up the Two(Tune, "Why don't we get drunk..."with apologies to Jimmy Buffett)I've got a pound of Cesium,It's burning gently near.The sky-blue flame looks lovely,But it's noise I want to hear.So darlin' bring some water,A couple pints'll do.And why don't we mix up the two?Why don't we mix up the two?'Cause Cesium and water,Really make a wicked brew.You say I've got a death wish,But honey, I'm just blue.So why don't we mix up the two?---Songs of Cesium #29

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The Cesium song 08 (Added On: 2011-01-26 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

'Lectropositive Mama(tune, Lady Madonna)'Letropositive mama,Cesium on your meat,Wonder how you manage,To stay on your feet.How d'ya stand the smokin'?How d'ya 'bide the flame?Do you think that life's justA burnin' game.Monday night your hunger's a blue fire,Tuesday morn' you're cookin' 'fore the sun.Wednesday rain, you're only flamin' higher,Having your fun.'Lectropositive mama,Cinders in your curls,No way can compare you,To ordinary girls.Likin' the explosions,Rock you on your seat.How can any woman handleAll that heat?---Songs of Cesium #47

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There are 12 funny Science jokes in this category.

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