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Sports jokes
Question answer (Added On: 2011-12-19 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke) Why did the goal post get angry?Because the bar was rattled! What is the bank manager's favourite type of football?Fiver side! What part of a football ground is never the same?The changing rooms! What should a football team do if the pitch is flooded?Bring on their subs! Question answer (Added On: 2011-04-08 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke) Why did a footballer take a piece of rope onto the pitch?He was the skipper! How do hens encourage their football teams?They egg them on! Question answer (Added On: 2011-03-15 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke) What tea do footballers drink?Penaltea! Where do footballers dance?At a football! Ten years on a deserted island (Added On: 2011-01-09 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke) A man is stranded on a desert island, all alone for ten years. One day, he sees a speck in the horizon. He thinks to himself, "It's not a ship." The speck gets a little closer and he thinks, "It's not a boat." The speck gets even closer and he thinks, "It's not a raft." Then, out of the surf comes this gorgeous blonde woman, wearing a wet suit and scuba gear. She comes up to the guy and says, "How long has it been since you've had a cigarette?" "Ten years!", he says. She reaches over and unzips a waterproof pocket on her left sleeve and pulls out a pack of fresh cigarettes. He takes one, lights it, takes a long drag, and says, "Man, oh man! Is that good!" Then she asked, "How long has it been since you've had a drink of whiskey?" He replies, "Ten years!" She reaches over, unzips her waterproof pocket on her right sleeve, pulls out a flask and gives it to him. He takes a long swig and says, "Wow, that's fantastic!" Then she starts unzipping a longer zipper that runs down the front of her wet suit and she says to him, "And how long has it been since you've had some real fun?" And the man replies, "Wow! Don't tell me that you've got golf clubs in there!" Mixed football jokes (Added On: 2010-06-28 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke) A burglary was recently committed at West Ham's ground and the entire contents of the trophy room were stolen. The police are looking for a man with a claret & blue carpet. The seven dwarves are down in the mines when there is a cave-in. Snow White runs to the entrance and yells down to them. In the distance a voice shouts out "Charlton are good enough to win the European Cup." Snow White says "Well at least Dopey's alive!" Q: How does Stan Collymore change a lightbulb?A: He holds it in the air, and the world revolves around him The Fire brigade phones George Graham in the early hours of Sunday morning."Mr Graham sir, White Hart Lane is on fire!""The cups man! Save the cups!" cries George."Uh, the fire hasn't spread to the canteen yet, sir." Apparently, Harry Redknapp offered to send the West Ham squad on an expenses paid holiday to Florida but they said they'd rather go to Blackpool so they could see what it's like to ride on an open-top bus. Big Ron was caught speeding on his way to the City Ground today."I'll do anything for 3 points", he said when questioned. The Nottingham Forest Chairman is considering replacing Big Ron with Steve Davis. Explaining this unusual move, he said "we don't just need points now, we need snookers!" British Rail have decided to start sponsoring Forest. BR think they are a suitable team because of their regular points failures.
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