Thoughts jokes

If pro is the opposite (Added On: 2009-04-16 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

If pro is the opposite of con, is progress the opposite of congress? Why does "cleave" mean both split apart and stick together? Why is it, whether you sit up or sit down, the result is the same? Why is it called a "building" when it is already built? Why do they call them "apartments" when they are all stuck together?

Why do they report power (Added On: 2009-02-14 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

Why do they report power outages on TV? What do you do when you see an endangered animal that is eating an endangered plant? Is it possible to be totally partial? What's another word for thesaurus?

Last night I played a (Added On: 2009-01-23 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts. If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation? Just think how much deeper the ocean would be if sponges didn't live there. If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?