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True Stories jokes

There are 20 funny True Stories jokes in this category. Prev 5 | Next 5

Microsoft Corp today announced that (Added On: 2010-09-01 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

Microsoft Corp today announced that they would purchase the source the
PenPoint operating system for the value of one of Bill Gates eye-lashes
(est. value $1.3 million). Gates was quoted as saying "we are only doing
what the consumer has asked us to do: ship huge, bloated, bug-ridden
programs while using every trick in the book to kill our competitors. As an
example of our progress, consider Windows CE which paints the screen slower
on a 75 MHz MIPS RISC processor than the 16 MHz 68000 in the Palm Pilot,
while sucking the batteries dry in a tenth of the time."


A man went into a (Added On: 2010-05-05 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

A man went into a drug store, pulled a gun, announced a
robbery, and pulled a Hefty-bag face mask over his head -- and realized that
he'd forgotten to cut eyeholes in the mask.


Looking for Love: "Heartthrob Fabio (Added On: 2010-04-06 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

Looking for Love: "Heartthrob Fabio announced he is looking for his dream
woman," says Jay Leno. "He says he wants someone who's funny, secure,
independent and has a good personality. You know what's really sad- the
one woman in Hollywood who fits those criteria is Ellen DeGeneres."


An elderly lady did her (Added On: 2010-02-20 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

An elderly lady did her shopping and upon returning to her car found four
males sitting in the car.


She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream at
them at the top of her voice that she knows how to use it and that she will
if required...so get out of the car!


The four men didn't wait around for a second invitation but got out and ran
like mad, where upon the lady proceeded to load her shopping bags into the
back of the car and got into the driver's seat.


Small problem: her key wouldn't fit the ignition. Her car was identical and
parked four or five spaces further down.


She reloaded her bags into her car and drove to the police station. The
sergeant that she told the story to nearly tore himself in two with
laughter and pointed to the other end of the counter where four very pale
males were reporting a car jacking by a mad elderly woman.


No charges were filed.


In September, a 7-year- old (Added On: 2010-02-14 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

In September, a 7-year- old boy fell off a 100-foot-high bluff near Ozark,
Ark., after he lost his grip swinging on a cross that marked the spot
where another person had fallen to his death in 1990.


There are 20 funny True Stories jokes in this category. Prev 5 | Next 5
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