Weight Loss jokes

The Quarantine Diet (Added On: 2009-03-15 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

A man returns from
Africa and is feeling very ill. He goes to see his doctor, and is immediately
rushed to the Hospital, to undergo a barrage of tests.

The man wakes up after the tests in a private room at the hospital, and
the phone by his bed rings.

"This is your doctor. We've had the results back from your tests
and we've found you have an extremely nasty virus, which is extremely
contagious!"

"Oh my gosh," cried the man, "What are you going to do,
doctor?"

"Well we're going to put you on a diet of pizzas, pancakes, and pitta
bread."

"Will that cure me?" asked the man.

The doctor replied, "Well no, but...it's the only food we can get
under the door."

Bathroom Scales (Added On: 2009-01-15 Rating : N/R / 5.00 Rate This Joke)

Bathroom
scales: equipment which only seems to work correctly when one
holds on to towel rail, stands on one foot and leans hard to the left.